Sunday is International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so in honor of swashbucklers everywhere, why not compile a list of Boston athletes who would make the best pirates?
All across the world, those who yearn for the open seas and chests of treasure are having parties celebrating the impromptu holiday that was started in 1996.
Without further ado, here is a list of five Boston athletes who would make the best pirates.
Patriots offensive lineman Matt Light
Light just looks like a pirate. Then again, most offensive lineman look like pirates, but couldn’t you picture Light — with a scraggly beard, of course — manning the open seas and swabbing the deck?
Bruins forward Shawn Thornton
Much of the pirate life is based on being rough and rugged. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone more rough or rugged than Thornton who makes much of his living with his fists. Good luck trying to stop him if he tries to board your ship.
Celtics guard Delonte West
While Thornton’s grit is clear, West is more of a scrappy player. That seems like it might translate well on a pirate ship, and some of West’s past transgressions show he’s pretty resourceful. And if not West, is there any doubting Glen Davis and Nate Robinson would be all for the pirate life?
Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek
The catcher’s command of his pitching staff and diligent preparation would come in handy in navigating the seas. Not only that, he’s a veteran who’s seen it all and wouldn’t be surprised by anything. He is a captain, after all.
Celtics forward Brian Scalabrine
The redhead is likely on his way out of town, so this one is kind of cheating. But how can you leave Scal off of this list? He makes the cut just for his resemblance to Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball.
Got any suggestions for additions to the list? Leave them in the comments and enjoy Talk Like a Pirate Day. Arrrgh.