It’s hard to imagine Peyton Manning ever helping Tom Brady win anything.
In a voicemail parody, though, Paul Fitzgerald of Townie News imagines that Manning is jealous of little brother Eli Manning‘s success and offers Brady tips on how to beat the Giants in Super Bowl XLVI. Preventing Eli from surpassing Peyton in the Lombardi Trophy department supposedly helps Peyton preserve his spot as the best quarterback in the family, or something like that.
Through the voicemail “leaked” by Fitzy, fans learn several things.
1. Eli is allergic to cinnamon, and not just in the way most of us go into a coughing fit if we try to eat a tablespoon of it. (If you’ve never tried this, bookmark us, go give it a shot and finish reading this story after you’re done coughing up a lung.)
2. Eli loves gummie worms, which merely confirms that he is human.
3. Eli loves the Teletubbies and thinks a baby really lives in sun. That’s completely foolish. Anyone who has played Super Mario Bros. 3 knows the sun is an angry villain that swoops down and tries to kill plumbers.
In all seriousness, it would be something if Manning won on Sunday. He was ridiculed as the bratty little brother for his first three seasons in the NFL and now he is positioned to win his second Super Bowl. Doing so would tie him with John Elway, Ben Roethlisberger, Bob Griese, Jim Plunkett, Roger Staubach and Bart Starr for the third-most ever by a quarterback.
With plenty of football ahead of him, the 31-year-old quarterback would also have a chance to tie Brady in that category. Hopefully an evil sun swoops down to try to kill us before that ever happens.
Check out Peyton’s voicemail in the Video of the Day below.
Sibling rivalry: Is there an app for that?
Peyton Manning photo via Photobucket/brittneys_88
“This guy’s worse than me!”
— Celtics color announcer Tom Heinsohn commenting during Friday’s broadcast on Knicks coach Mike D’Antoni’s constant complaining about fouls
That sounds cool and screams “viral video.” Hook us up.
Look on the bright side, Peyton. If Eli does leave you in his dust, you can always become a butcher. Cut that meat! Cut that meat!