Wizards Coach Randy Wittman Claims He Would Call NBA Waiver Wire, If He Had a Cell Phone

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Things have gotten really bad for the Washington Wizards. At 0-9, they are the NBA’s only winless team and — not surprisingly — are in the bottom five of almost every category in the league, including attendance. They may have hit a new low Monday, when the banged-up and listless Pacers came to town and handed the Wizards a 96-89 defeat.

Afterward, Wizards coach Randy Wittman said some pretty surprising things, such as insisting, “I believe these guys can win. I don’t have any doubts. I come in here every day, thinking: ‘This is the night.’ I feel good. I might be dumb.”

Quite a few Wizards fans might agree with him, but even believing that the Wizards are capable of stealing a ‘W’ or two occasionally was not the most shocking thing Wittman said.

“We have no consistency,” Wittman was quoted as saying. “To get off to a start like we did [Monday], it was no excuse for it. I’m looking down the whole roster and if I had a cell phone, I’d call the waiver wire, trying to find another body.”

Wait, what? Wittman doesn’t have a cell phone? In the year 2012? And that’s all that is keeping him from dumping one of the automatons on his roster for a waiver-wire replacement?

Somebody put this guy on their friends and family plan, stat!

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