Larry David is not just a genius comedy writer. He’s also a revolutionary football thinker.
The Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm creator says he would almost always go on fourth down if he were an NFL offensive coordinator.
“You know what else I am?” David said on The Rich Eisen Podcast, as transcribed by Larry Brown Sports. “I’m a fourth down guy. I’m going on fourth. Think about this. Two-minute drives — why are they always so successful? Why do these teams always score on two-minute drives? Because they use four downs, that’s why.”
David took great opposition to what the Denver Broncos did last season in the divisional round of the playoffs.
“Here’s one thing I wouldn’t do,” David said to Rich Eisen. “I wouldn’t be doing what Denver did at the end of that playoff game. I wouldn’t take a knee. How dare he take that knee? Peyton Manning’s your quarterback, and you’re taking a knee?”
David also has a problem with the way some defenses are constructed. David said he doesn’t like the idea of zones and would always go with a man approach.
“Here’s the big mistake on defense — they play these zones,” David said. “They leave these big seams. So you see the players, and they’re like, ‘There’s a guy here and there’s a guy here, so I’m gonna go in the middle and go like this.’ And the quarterback, who can throw a ball 100 mph, goes, ‘Oh look, I’ve got a guy open.’”
When teams go zone, they’re more apt to allow a check down to the running back from the quarterback. If a team were running David’s defense, that back would be covered.
“With me, I’m back in the schoolyard,” David said. “I’ve got him, who do you got? If I’m the defensive coordinator, you’re not gonna see a running back out in the slot waiting as a safety valve when the quarterback can’t find a receiver. There’s not gonna be a safety valve in a David defense. You know why? That guy’s gonna be covered. You won’t have linebackers just standing around in a zone.”
If anything, it sounds like David would be more prepared to run an NFL defense than Dave Wannstedt was in Buffalo last season. David said his experience writing comedy would help when it comes to drawing up plays.
“If they gave me a chance, I could turn the fortunes of an NFL team around,” David said. “There’s no doubt in my mind. I write stories, so why couldn’t I draw up a play? What’s harder? I think a lot of writers could be offensive coordinators. I know I could do it.”
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