Around 2:30 Saturday morning, Burgess was leaving a bar in Baton Rouge — strike one — when he jumped behind the wheel of an idling truck — strikes two through ten. He proceeded to drive the truck away from the bar, even though there was a woman in the passenger seat. As if anyone thought Burgess would practice defensive driving at this point, he sideswiped nine parked cars on his joyride.
And a joyride was exactly what Burgess was looking for — when questioned by police, he said he “wanted to see what it was really like to play the video game Grand Theft Auto.”
That’s like a two-star wanted level and he still got caught. Amateur.
Photo via Twitter/@luismiguelgp
This Texas A&M “Ken” doll will in no way steal your soul.
Photo via Twitter/@darrenrovell
This Raiders fan will absolutely steal your soul.
so women aren't allowed to bring purses to NFL games but grown men are allowed to dress like this https://t.co/SrZnJjaHB2—
Lana Berry (@Lana) September 24, 2013
Soft hands, happy feet, Schefter.
Gif via Twitter/@BuzzFeedSports