Carchedi's "Italian Ninjas" posted a ridiculous point total in nunchucking Terence Johnson's "Crooked Lettas" 165.0-135.4. The NESN contributor benefited from the six touchdowns and 380 yards of passing posted by one Thomas Edward Brady, Jr. in less than three quarters of action against the Titans in the Patriots' snowy 59-0 romp on Sunday in Foxborough.
"I would like to personally thank the Tennessee Titans for forgetting how to cover, tackle, pass rush, jump, run, think, communicate, tie their shoes and altogether remain upright," Carchedi said after improving to 3-3 on the fantasy season. "I would also like to thank them for forgetting that snow is simply frozen precipitation and nothing that should incapacitate an entire professional football team. My fantasy team couldn't have done it without you."
But Brady's 55 fantasy points didn't hurt either.
"We remembered what Brady did to us in Week 1," said a frustrated, yet still upbeat Johnson after falling back into a first-place tie atop the Eastern Division. "And he doubled that this week.
"What I don't understand," he continued, "is how a football field can be covered in snow, yet the [Tennessee] defense gives up 400-plus yards through the air. I knew it was going to be a rough one when Randy Moss grilled a couple of steaks, took a shower and used 35 of his anytime minutes [while running a passing route] before he caught the touchdown along the back line of the end zone. To give up six touchdowns through the air to [Brady], especially in the snow, is unreal!"
Moving on, the NESN.com Fantasy League's biggest talker, Cole Wright, knew that he'd be facing a tough task in Week 6. He was saddled with facing the wrath of Kathryn's Tappenators without the services of Peyton Manning, Joseph Addai and Ricky Williams, all of whom were on bye weeks.
"I've been hit by the bye bug," the coach and GM of "I MEAN BUSINESS" wrote on the league's message board, "but as I stare into the face of adversity, I'm about to get my cream on and rise to the top!"
But after the Tappenators' commanding 138.2-101.85 victory, it was Kathryn who turned the trash-talking tables on Cole:
"Looks like you got your rock on," she responded on the message board, "'cause you sunk to the bottom!"
After getting a huge performance out of Maurice Jones-Drew, whose 133 yards and three touchdowns produced 33.8 fantasy points, Kathryn was thankful and in a giving mood for the second straight week.
"Does Cole prefer his strawberries chocolate covered?" she asked while perusing the Edible Arrangement Web site. "Thank you for sole possession of first place."
Despite the setback that dropped I MEAN BUSINESS into second place, Cole struck a resilient tone with the media.
"I'll be back!" he screamed at the reporters in attendance. "I promise I will not give up!"
Striking a similarly resistant tone was Heidi Watney's "Favre Forever" squad, which earned its first win since opening weekend, a 128.0-107.4 decision over John Chandler's "More Cowbell" team.
Randy Moss came up big for Heidi with three scores and 30.9 total points, but Favre Forever has ironically continued to struggle behind center, where Eli Manning put up a measly 10.8 points in the Giants' loss in New Orleans.
"Getting back in the win column for the first time since Week 1 is nice," Heidi said following the triumph. "But we need to fix this quarterback situation. Favre Forever just may turn to the elder statesman of the NFL [her backup quarterback is the legendary Brett Favre, himself], and let Manning go make some more commercials with his brother.
"Thankfully the Titans' inept defense allowed Randy Moss to make up for four straight weeks of poor performances and help carry the team to a win. Now we're coming for you, Tappenators!"
A handcuffed Chandler — also hampered by bye weeks from Ronnie Brown, Frank Gore and Reggie Wayne — turned to his (former) hometown Browns for assistance. It turned out to be the wrong week to expect current and former Clevelanders to rock. Running back Jerome Harrison posted 2.6 points, recently traded wideout Braylon Edwards added 4.0 of his own and ex-Browns tight end Kellen Winslow put up another 2.9.
"I got nothing," said a flabbergasted Chandler. "And that applies to my so-called roster."
With the loss, he dropped into so-called last place in the Western Division.
Finally, the "Gray Cutoff Hoodies," managed by yours truly, managed to bounce back from last week's setback, pounding Naoko Funayama's "UNITAS" by a final score of 143.15-111.85.
Drew Brees' 369 yards and four passing touchdowns (43.05 points) coupled with Wes Welker's 150 yards and two scores in the snow led the way for the Hoodies and proved to be too much for Naoko's defense to handle.
"It was just one of those weeks where everything went right," I told NESN.com following the big win. "Who knew Visanthe Shiancoe would catch two touchdown passes? I guess it's the luck of the Irish ? even though my great-great-grandparents were Russian and German."
Naoko, who attempted the dangerous double-Steve Smith maneuver in setting her Week 6 lineup, didn't get much production out of either. The Giants receiver put up 4.4 points, while the Panthers wideout had just 0.4.
It was a rough matchup for UNITAS, which despite its 2-4 record, still has high hopes for the postseason. Heck, everyone does at this point. And that's just part of what makes the fantasy season so gosh-darned fun.
Enjoy all of the Week 7 NFL action and be sure to keep up with your favorite fantasy footballers right here on NESN.com.
