The cream is continuing to rise to the top of the NESN.com Fantasy Football League. And with the two division leaders having already clinched spots in the playoffs, another squad clinched a postseason berth in Week 12 while several others inched closer to spots of their own.
One team in the latter category is Cole Wright's I MEAN BUSINESS, which scored an important 125.80- 116.25 victory over John Chandler's More Cowbell team, thanks to big games from the likes of Peyton Manning (26 fantasy points) and Percy Harvin (20.6).
Though Cole was rooting heavily for the Patriots in their fierce Monday night matchup against the unbeaten New Orleans Saints, the SportsDesk anchor benefited greatly from Devery Henderson's 75-yard touchdown reception in the second quarter. That play pushed him over the top in his all-important Week 12 decision, a triumph that improved his record to 5-7 and has him set to earn the fifth seed in the playoffs.
"I finally got a win this week on the fantasy gridiron!" an excited Cole told reporters in his team's postgame news conference. "I needed that like a wino needs a bottle of Night Train!"
And following the win, Cole was already talking trash for the postseason.
"Looking at the standings, ya boy has quietly snuck back into the playoff picture. Lemme tell ya, my 'BUSINESSmen' will be bullish once the second season arrives! And you can bank on that baby!
"Once the postseason arrives, protect ya neck! You know why? That's right: because I MEAN BUSINESS!"
Though we're still two games behind the Eastern Conference-leading Crooked Lettas, my Gray Cutoff Hoodies won our third straight game, clinching a playoff spot with a 157.35-53.55 thrashing of John Carchedi's Italian Ninjas.
My squad was paced by Ray Rice (15.5 points) and the Seahawks' fill-in running back Justin Forsett (25), but it was Drew Brees' 371 yards and five touchdowns (48.45) on Monday night that made the score so lopsided.
"The last thing I wanted to do was run up the score on a team with the character and integrity of the Italian Ninjas," I told reporters following the blowout, "and it's certainly nothing against Jeff Carchedi … I mean … ummm, Josh? … Joe Carchedi? … no, John! … John Carchedi, yes — a man for whom I have the utmost respect.
"But, you see, this is the NESN.com Fantasy Football League. It isn't the Comcast Sports fantasy league. It isn't the WEEI fantasy league. This is a league where the men are men and the women are … well … better at fantasy football than most of the men. There's no such thing as a moral victory in this league."
A disappointed Carchedi didn't see much positive in losing by over 103 fantasy points.
"Before the NESN.com fantasy league," he whispered softly before sighing aloud, "life seemed so full of promise. The sun shined brightly. The Pats could defend the pass. Often I could smell fresh apple pie cooling on the neighbor's window. And once, I swear, a blue bird landed on my shoulder and started to sing.
"Now it's all gone. So, so gone."
While two teams saw their playoff hopes bolstered, two teams had already clinched. But that didn't stop them from going all out to continue their winnings ways.
Kathryn's Tappenators, for example, won their eighth straight game by whooping Heidi Watney's Favre Forever-ers 141.50-116 to improve to 10-2 on the 2009 campaign. The Tappenators were the beneficiaries of balanced scoring from Chris Johnson (24.6), Donald Driver (20.2), the Packers defense (22) and more in maintaining their two-game edge atop the Western Conference.
"And you thought your grandma's stuffing dominated Turkey Day?" Kathryn crowed to begin her postgame interview. "Did you see what our boys did?
"I just love Thanksgiving dinner," she continued. "First helping: Green Bay's defense with four interceptions, including a pick-six. Second helping: Donald Driver goes off for 142 yards and a TD. Mix in a side of MBIII [Marion Barber III] and Lawrence Tynes, and it's another buffet of Tappenator dominance."
Speaking of buffets, what variety of Edible Arrangement should Heidi be expecting come Christmastime?
The other conference leaders, Terrence Johnson's Crooked Lettas, earned a convincing win of their own, knocking out Naoko Funayama's UNITAS squad by a final score of 121-96.7.
Though both Terrence and Naoko managed to evade reporters and sneak quickly out of the stadium following the contest, a league source told NESN.com on Tuesday evening that Terrence remains confident as his team prepares for the postseason.
A different source close to the UNITAS management told NESN.com on Tuesday that the team will stick with the injured Clinton Portis in its starting lineup "come hell or high water." After being reminded that Portis still plays for the Redskins in Washington, the source reportedly replied, "See? We've already got the 'hell' part down."
The NESN.com Fantasy Football League continues this week, obviously, with several other teams just a win away from punching their postseason tickets. Be sure to stay tuned to NESN.com all weekend long for the finest NESN.com fantasy coverage around.
Enjoy the action!