Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner has the opposite problem. He is asking for divine intervention to help him bow out of football after 12 seasons.
It’s an interesting notion. Warner loves football so much that he does not trust himself to make a sound decision to stop playing, but he’s not asking for an injury. He’s asking for his love for the game to be diminished. He wants his desire to play exorcised from his mind so that by the time the 2010 season rolls around, he’ll be happy as a clam watching all the action from his living room.
Or maybe he’s just so scared of becoming the next Brett Favre that he’s being proactive.
In other news, Jonathan Papelbon once again tries to talk himself out of the doghouse, Kim Kardashian clears up rumors about demanding an engagement from Reggie Bush, and a ball boy takes to extraordinary measures to delay a tennis match.
“I pray that God takes away the desire in me to play this game. I’ve loved it for so long. I need Him to take that away from me, so that I can be comfortable with this decision."
–Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner, in USA Today, on the role God will play in his retirement from the NFL
“I would love to finish my career with the Red Sox, and I think everybody pretty much knows that. But that's a very hard thing to do in this day and age and the way the game is now, and I have to understand that as well. Hopefully, it works out to where I can stay here for a while and win World Series and break records in a Red Sox uniform, like my buddy Mo [Rivera] in pinstripes."
–Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon on 98.5 The Sports Hub
"A ball boy started peeing on himself, so that was really unfortunate. I looked back, and it was dripping on the court."
—Donald Young, in The Associated Press, on a ball boy’s accident that delayed a tennis match between him and Christophe Rochus
“I was shocked, to say the least, that I was being told to have knee surgery in order to get the contract, particularly since I wasn’t hurt.”
–Former Red Sox outfielder Jason Bay, on WEEI, on the Red Sox pulling their offer to him because of what they alleged to be a knee problem
“When you think about it — and I'm bringing it up because it was two days ago, Martin Luther King's birthday — just think what he heard, and how many times he turned his cheek. If he can do that, why can't we do that, on a basketball court. You're not going to win that battle. Let somebody else fight it for you."
–Celtics head coach Doc Rivers, on WEEI, on forward Glen Davis, who insulted a heckling fan during Wednesday’s loss to the Pistons
"You need to apologize to your family for depriving them of your presence as time goes on, because you are likely going to die earlier than if you had never relied on andro to carry you to all your successes.”
—Fergie Jenkins, in the AP, on Mark McGwire admitting to using steroids
"I tried to just finish that series out. Then, once I got to the sideline, I was like, 'You know what, my hand is broken.' Then, they checked and were like, 'Yeah, you're right, it is.'"
–Jets defensive end Shaun Ellis, in the AP, on playing through a broken hand against San Diego in the second round of the playoffs
“I don’t need to speak on it anymore. I said what I had to say. That’s what it is. I said it on national TV. Everybody saw it. I’m just speaking the truth, that’s all.”
–Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis, in the Boston Herald, on Randy Moss’ apparent lack of effort this season
“Pahlson is riding cowboy on Recchi, and Recchi is not a willing horse.”
–NESN play-by-play man Jack Edwards during Thursday’s Bruins game against Columbus
“Our approach has been to try and work with him, but we’re almost 50 games in now. It’s time to take charge of the situation. Bring your intensity level up, because if you want to play like a [No.] 5 or 6 [defenseman], that’s what you’re going to get for ice time. It’s pretty simple.”
–Bruins head coach Claude Julien, on Yahoo Sports, on the plight of defenseman Dennis Wideman
"There is a story going around saying I made a bet that Reggie would propose if the Saints won the Super Bowl. This is not true. I never made any kind of bet. A radio interviewer asked what I dreamed for in 2010 and I was hesitant and thinking about it and they said what about a ring. … I said yes, a Super Bowl ring for Reggie. Then they said that if he gets a Super Bowl ring, I get an engagement ring and I said "ok deal! LOL.”
–Kim Kardashian, on her personal blog, clearing up rumors that she will demand an engagement ring if boyfriend Reggie Bush and the Saints win the Super Bowl
"Is he being overpaid? Not one penny. Is he being underpaid? Probably, for what I think he is.”
–Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, on ESPN.com, on head coach Wade Phillips’ new two-year contract
"I think I learned that last year the hard way, so I'm just trying to be patient and actually listen. It's a Taurus quality — so all you Tauruses know what I'm talking about. For the most part, I feel really good, and I'm just going to listen, and when they give me the green light, that's what it is.”
–Celtics forward Kevin Garnett, on Boston.com, on delaying his comeback until he is ready
"Guys are going to squawk. You win 60 games, and they’ll still squawk. You know, the shrimp cocktail’s not good enough on the plane. Most places, it goes over people’s heads. Here, it becomes a national story. That’s fine and that’s how it is, and we can deal with it. It just doesn’t change anything."
–Knicks head coach Mike D’Antoni, in the AP, on the inevitable controversy that comes with coaching a New York team
"We don’t care what Keith Brooking says. He was about to get his a– whupped on our sideline over there. It don’t matter. Nobody said anything when they blew out the Eagles. It’s the playoffs. It ain’t no regular-season game. If you lose, you go home. We take no pity on them. Do they expect us to? I don’t care about no Brooking. He can say whatever he wants to say."
–Vikings defensive tackle Kevin Williams, on ESPN.com, on Keith Brooking’s complaints that Minnesota ran up the score against Dallas in their playoff win
