Looking Back on the Trade Deadline, the Olympics and Manny Being Manny

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Looking Back on the Trade Deadline, the Olympics and Manny Being Manny It really doesn't matter what your opinion is in the media today, as long as you write it with confidence. So following that "just say it without thinking about it" approach, I give you some bold statements about the week in sports.

Everyone Should Have to Worry About the Trade Deadline
Wednesday was the trade deadline for the NHL. Trade deadlines, unfortunately, are unique to professional sports.

How much more exciting would it be to head into your office on a random Wednesday in March knowing that the overpaid, underperforming guy in the cubicle next to you could be sent to, say, Detroit for an accountant and middle manager to be named later?

Sports Fans Need to Jump On Board the Warriors Bandwagon
If you were disappointed by the lack of action at the NHL trade deadline, there is a local hockey team that you should throw your support behind. The small town of North Andover, Mass., is the home of a great David vs. Goliath (or Goliaths) story.

Merrimack College's hockey team currently sits in the final postseason position in Hockey East heading into the final weekend of regular-season play. The team that hasn't had a postseason berth in five years faces league-worst Providence College in a home-and-home series Friday and Saturday nights.

The postseason prospects look good for the Warriors, who have the potential to be on home ice in the first round. If this were to occur, the 2,150 loyal undergrad students would surely fill the 3,000 seat Lawler Arena with an energy typically reserved for Premier League soccer. 

Led by surefire Hockey East rookie of the year, forward Stephane Da Costa, Merrimack is the lovable underdog — the Michael Cera character in every single movie he's in. 

Let the Juice Loose in the Smithsonian
The donation of the suit O.J. Simpson wore when he was acquitted of murder charges has been rejected by the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History. They should have accepted the donation if for no other reason than it would have made for a thrilling second sequel to Night at the Museum. Ben Stiller's character would have had to hunt down the exhibit behind the brutal double murders of Napoleon and Sacagawea

Canada Did Eh, OK with the Winter Games
The flame has been extinguished, and the athletes have returned home. America's 51st state has a reason to be proud of these Winter Games. Yet, at times, hosting the Olympics was a struggle for our maple-leaved neighbors.

At the opening ceremony, Wayne Gretzky uncomfortably (yet, politely, being Canadian) stood there holding the Olympic torch when the equipment failed and one of the arms of the Olympic cauldron did not deploy. This is the type of thing that we'd never allow if Boston hosted the games, partly because Boston's version of "the Great One" would melt if he were left near a giant flame. 

A lack of snow, an abundance of rain and an inexplicable inability to freeze water at the speedskating track marred an otherwise impressive and memorable two weeks. 

If there is one moment I'll cherish above all from the 2010 Games, it is hearing Bob Costas utter the timeless words, "And now, the always enjoyable giant, inflatable beavers."
 
The producers of the closing ceremonies should have quit while they were ahead.

And then Nickelback performed.

Nickelback? Really, Canada? You're trying to dispel the stereotype that you're a bland vanilla nation, and your curtain call on the world stage is Nickelback? Nickelback is to music what Applebee's is to dining: safe, generic and loved by teenagers because they don't know any better. C'mon, Canada, were the Barenaked Ladies too busy?

It's About Time the Greatest Sport on Ice Got Some Respect
Sunday's epic gold medal hockey game between the United States and Canada couldn't have had a more storybook ending if it was one of the many Hollywood films shot in Vancouver to save money. Sidney Crosby knocking home the overtime goal to secure the gold as millions of Canucks lost their minds was about as special as it gets in modern sports.

Still, the sport on ice that was the real winner of these Games was curling. 

Dick Ebersol must love curling. It seemed like two-thirds of NBC's broadcasting day was spent watching the stone slide toward the house. The network pushed curling almost as much as that Parenthood show (although, I suspect curling will be more enjoyable to watch). If curling is an Olympic sport, it really opens the door to other activities that can be played after a few rounds at the bar. 

How about Olympic darts anyone? Olympic pool? Olympic Wii bowling?

Manny Needs to Go To Japan
Last week, Manny Ramirez joked that he hopes to play five more seasons, three in the majors and two in Japan. This really needs to happen. Besides the fact that Manny would quickly have the most stylish collection of kimonos any American has ever possessed, the animé series that would surely celebrate his arrival would be an instant hit. The Manny Being Manny Super Terrific Dragon Power Bat Hour would be a great addition to NESN's Saturday morning lineup. 

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