Do you consider Fenway Park and the Garden second homes? Are 4, 8, 9 and 33 your favorite numbers? Are your top five teams the Red Sox, Bruins, Celtics, Patriots and whoever’s playing the Yankees? Do you have a pet named Yaz, Russell, Pedro or Brady? Do you curse profusely any time someone mentions Bucky Dent, Guy Lafleur, Aaron Boone or David Tyree?
If you answered yes to one or more of the above questions, you should consider auditioning for Wicked Summer, a new MTV reality show being billed as the Massachusetts version of Jersey Shore.
Doron Ofir Casting, the same casting company that was involved with Jersey Shore, is now looking for “blue collar, hard working, harder partying, tough talking, damn good looking Mass natives from all over the state” for the show, which will be set on Cape Cod, according to a post on the company’s Web site.
Below is the casting call in full.
You come from all over — Gloucester, Worcester, South End, Charlestown, Chicopee and South Swansea. You share a love for muscle cahs, hair products and little necks on the frickin half shell. You don’t take [crap] from nobody — least of all each othah. You are the hottest girls and proudly buff guys from Massa-freakin-chusetts who believe in God, family, the Red Sox and partying!!
You ready to live togethah, laugh togethah, drink togethah and love togethah?
You’ll pahty on the beaches of the Cape where roast beef subs and cases of Narragansett Light are on every Celtics towel next to a bottle of baby oil and a can of hair spray!
Are you down for one wicked cool summah, and to be a part of the most wicked reality show evah!?
Doron Ofir Casting is looking for blue collar, hard working, harder partying, tough talking, damn good looking Mass natives from all over the state. … Yea we’ll consider preps from Wellesley too if they got what it takes.
Get ready for the summer of your life on the show that will knock the sox off the Red Sox, blow cannons from Lexington to Cornwall and make you wish you remembered where you pahked your frickin cah cause that clunker is in Jersey!
In addition to being a die-hard Boston sports fan, other attributes that will probably help you get selected include:
- A profound love of Sam Adams beer.
- The ability to flawlessly navigate a rotary.
- A refusal to use your blinkah.
- An understanding that a yellow light means you still have five seconds to get through the intersection.
- An understanding that stop signs mean yield, and that yield signs should be ignored.
- The common decency to flip the bird to anyone who cuts you off.
- An understanding of the I-95/Route 128 conundrum.
- An understanding of what a bubblah is.
- The ability to correctly pronounce Worcester, Gloucester, Leominster and Peabody.
- Having friends named Fitzy, Mac and Sully.
