Forget about playing for one of the most historic franchises in sports history. Forget about playing in front of fans in the biggest city in America. Forget about playing in ballparks across the country filled with fans of your team. Forget about being a part of one of the greatest rivalries in sports.

Mark Teixeira just wants to get home in time for the 11 p.m. news.

“It’s brutal. I can’t stand playing a nine-inning game in four hours,” the Yankees’ first baseman told The New York Times’ Tyler Kepner. “It’s not baseball. I don’t even know how to describe it. If I was a fan, why would I want to come watch people sitting around and talking back and forth, going to the mound, 2-0 sliders in the dirt? Four-hour games can’t be fun for a fan, either.”

The painful struggle of Teixeira is enough for him to yearn for his brief time spent in the National League.

“I love baseball, but I also love the National League,” Teixeira told the Times. “If it was a three-hour game [in the NL], you were like, ‘Man, this game is long.’ Crisp games, pitchers throw strikes, go after hitters. These four-hour games are ridiculous.”

Ridiculous? OK, we can talk ridiculous.

Ridiculous is getting paid $22.5 million to do anything, let alone play a game. Even more ridiculous is hitting .249 while getting paid $22.5 million to play baseball. Ridiculous is standing at first base for a while and taking an at-bat once an hour and calling it “brutal.” Ridiculous is trying to cop out by taking the “it must be hard for the fans” route.

Ridiculous, really, is to say anything other than “I appreciate the opportunity I have to play baseball for a living.” To complain about a day of work lasting an extra hour every so often is ludicrous in any field, but especially among pro athletes. For anyone in the world who actually works for a living, it’s hard not to be offended by Teixeira’s complaints.

However you feel about Teixeira’s comments, though, you have to give him this: The man is doing his part to speed the games up. He went 0-for-4 on Tuesday night and followed it up with an 0-for-3 on Wednesday, and he’s now hitting .125 with 16 strikeouts against the Red Sox this season.

And hey, Mark, things are looking up! Wednesday’s game took just just 3 hours and 16 minutes! Sure, your team lost, but at least you didn’t have to go through that brutal, awful, painful extra 44 minutes.

Photo of the day

Is Mark Teixeira right in suggesting it has to be hard for fans to enjoy Red Sox-Yankees game because they take a long time to play? Do you feel bad for the poor guy?

Mark Teixeira Complains That Long Red Sox-Yankees Games Are 'Brutal' and 'Ridiculous'

Quote of the day

“Can these fake Titan fans [shut up] on my timeline I don’t have a regular job so don’t compare me to you and I can care less if uthink I’m greedy.”
–Running back Chris Johnon, via Twitter, winning himself some public sympathy amid his holdout for a record-setting contract

Tweet of the day

That may be true, @TheKateRooney, but just make sure you don’t say that in front of him.

Mark Teixeira Complains That Long Red Sox-Yankees Games Are 'Brutal' and 'Ridiculous'

Video of the day

Wait … is this real? You can just fly now?