Which Fictional Baseball Pitcher Could Help Red Sox Most?


April 22, 2012

Which Fictional Baseball Pitcher Could Help Red Sox Most?It's pretty clear that the Red Sox could use some help on the mound.

The Sox looked like they were going to bounce back against the Yankees in a big way Saturday thanks to the Felix Doubront's solid start, but the Boston bullpen imploded late. Vicente Padilla, Matt Albers, Franklin Morales and Alfredo Aceves combined for 12 earned runs in a mere three innings of action, clearly showing the need for more consistency on the mound.

After such an unimaginable start to the season, the Red Sox might need to look outside the box for some pitching help.

One of the top names on the list of incredible fictional pitchers is none other than Sports Illustrated's Sidd Finch. Finch was the subject of a 1985 S.I. April Fools' Day article written by George Plimpton, in which Plimpton portrayed the fictional pitcher as an English orphan who used yoga to master a 168-mph fastball.

Plimpton added that Finch "was a member of the Mets training squad," and the Mets actually went as far as to dress up a middle school art teacher in a "Finch" jersey to try and intimidate opponents. While there is nothing real about Finch or his fastball, one thing that's certain is the Red Sox could use some intimidation on the mound.

Next up, from the classic film Bull Durham, is the hard-throwing pitching prospect named Nuke LaLoosh. Nuke gets his nickname from his crazy hard fastball, but despite his velocity, he needs to work on some of his fairly insane off-the-field issues.

Speaking of off-the-field issues, how would Sox fans feel if they could have madman Kenny Powers on the mound at Fenway Park? The Eastbound & Down star would surely interest Bobby Valentine and Co. And while the borderline-insane pitcher is clearly on the back nine of his career, his wild antics and competitive spark might be just what the Sox need to turn their early-season slump around.

On the complete opposite end of the fantasy spectrum we have Rookie of the Year star Henry Rowengartner. The eccentric 12-year old, whose broken arm healed in such a way that he is capable of throwing the "high-stinky cheese," would definitely light a fire under some of the Sox starters.

And now the moment you've all been waiting for: Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn.  Played by none other than Charlie Sheen in the baseball classic Major League, the right-handed slinger fought through some tough times in Cleveland before pitching the greatest year of his life in 1991.

With such an incredible cast of pitchers to chose from, who do you think could provide the most help for the struggling Red Sox?

Cast your vote below.

Photo via Facebook/Kenny Powers of Eastbound & Down

Which fictional baseball pitcher could help Red Sox most?

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