Zeus and the rest of the gods did not very much care for the humans learning this new trick, however, and they punished Prometheus something fierce. He was chained to a rock and left out during the day where an eagle would come and eat his liver. Then, at night, his liver would grow back, so that the eagle could return again in the morning.
What does that have to do with this weekend’s biggest movie? Probably a lot, but I won’t know until seeing it. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun with the trailer in the meantime, so let’s get right down to it in another edition of “Spoiler Alert.”
Prometheus
By now, you’ve seen this trailer unless you were hiding under a rock (but hopefully not chained to one). You also probably get goosebumps and/or nightmares from that wild screeching siren sound at the end.
Ridley Scott, the film’s director, knows this. He also knows that you know that he made Alien all those years ago, and everyone is buzzing that this is a “prequel” to that. It’s not, he now says, but something tells me I’ll still freak out when a face-hugger jumps out from behind a rock.
People seem worried that this film is going to be too ambitious and won’t deliver on the hype that it’s built up, with as a die-hard LOST fan, I’m willing to give screenwriter Damon Lindelof the benefit of the doubt on this one. Bonus points if he found a way to get a character to yell, “We have to go back!“
Django Unchained
Christoph Waltz might be my new favorite person. Or, Quentin Tarantino has just found a way to make him appear that way. But when Jamie Foxx is the biggest red flag in your acting ensemble, you’ve done a pretty good job. Besides, we’ve seen enough Tarantino movies to know that he’s going to deliver the goods.
I’m not ready to put Waltz-Foxx up against Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta for all-time buddy comedy consideration, but I have to think Robert De Niro and Charles Grodin are at least intrigued by the thought of these two palling around and shooting people in the west.
Also, Leonardo DiCaprio looks like he’s having too much fun, which is always a good thing. Count me in.
Wreck-It Ralph
If it feels like forever since Pixar last came out with a movie, then you either don’t have kids or you had the good sense not to see Cars 2. With Wreck-It Ralph, Pixar seems destined to avoid a second rare clunker.
Some of the video game references in here might be dated, but I’ll chalk it up to stuff that parents will appreciate even if it flies over younger crowd’s heads. Besides, everyone knows the 80s were when arcade games peaked, and therefore video games did, too.
Safety Not Guaranteed
This is one of the all-time classic Internet memes, and it’s a shame that the script somehow fell into the wrong hands here. I would have much rather seen Andy Samberg and the Lonely Island crew do their thing with this one, but instead we have what looks like an artsy rom-com effort where funny people try to prove they can be serious actors.
The studios dropped the ball here — this deserved the Laser Cats treatment.
Madagascar 3
Attention, teenagers: this is what you can tell your parents you are going to see while sneaking in to see Prometheus. You’re welcome.
Thumbnail photo via Facebook/Prometheus
