Hogan's Beach TampaWhatcha gonna do, brother, when a Tampa Bay Times food critic runs wild on you?

That’s a question that Hulk Hogan — a.k.a. Terry Bollea — will have to answer after a scathing review of his Hogan’s Beach restaurant by the Times’ Laura Reilly.

“The food is a train wreck and the three menus incoherently jumbled,” Reilly writes. “Hogan’s Beach opened too soon, long before any of the fundamentals were dialed in.”

The critic blasts the restaurant’s service (“servers are clueless about the food, wine and cocktail options”) and the fare (“I strongly suspect that a number of dishes are straight off the back of a Sysco truck”) in a thorough takedown worthy of the Hulkster.

While Reilly isn’t all negative, calling a meatloaf entree “serviceable” and admitting the Hulk-themed decorations are borderline “cheesy fun,” she pulls no punches in the rest of the critical review. Now, the question is whether of not the Hulk can get up off the mat in time to save his restaurant.

Photo via Facebook/Hogan’s Beach Tampa