Push To Ban On-Street Basketball, Hockey Nets In Peabody Is Crazy Talk


Basketball hoopSome people’s lives stink, and because of that, they feel the need to try and make other people’s lives stink, even if those other people are children. That’s apparently the case for some people in Peabody, Mass.

Some fed-up citizens are working to ban basketball and hockey nets from the city’s streets because, they claim, the goals are becoming too much of a nuisance.

The Salem News reported Thursday that some residents want the city to create an ordinance making it illegal to leave hoops and hockey nets in the streets. FOX 25 also outlined the story with a look at Tara Road, where things have become so bad that one unnamed resident has put “No trespassing” signs on her property.

“She’s not happy about the ball bouncing on her property if, you know, they miss the net,” neighbor Charles Kirby told FOX 25.

Look, life is short. And while we might not agree on the true meaning of life, we probably can all agree that the meaning is a little deeper than getting bent out of shape because a basketball bounces on your lawn from time to time.

This isn’t to argue the people’s right to complain about this harsh injustice bestowed upon them as property owners. But that also should make it cool for us rational people with better things to do to call them ridiculous. Because that’s what they are — or at least that’s how they’re portraying themselves by complaining.

It must be a bummer to be a kid in a situation like this, too. Half of them are portrayed as fat slobs who can’t be bothered while playing video games, drinking Mountain Dew and eating Ring Dings all day. The other half are the basketball-playing scoundrels ruining neighborhood life from sea to shining sea. So you’re either a hooligan for having the nerve to let a ball bounce on someone’s property or you’re a lazy dope who’s responsible for the downfall of the human race because you play too much “Call of Duty.”

What’s even worse is when people hide behind their own prejudices by making this an issue of safety.

“They stick too far out, and it’s dangerous because the kids were playing,” a resident told FOX 25.

It’s not difficult. It really isn’t. If children are playing sports in the middle of the street, don’t hit those children with your car. Seriously, that’s not oversimplifying it. A 12-year-old shooting hoops shouldn’t be a safety hazard, at least not as long as the person in the car isn’t a total dolt.

In fact, here’s a very helpful PSA on how to handle the situation, just for the people of Peabody.

This isn’t a safety issue. It’s not even really a property issue. It’s an issue of being way too uptight and taking life’s perceived slights and injustices out on others. They’re doing so by trying to take away relatively harmless pick-up games on quiet side streets. Good work, people.

Hopefully the city council does the right thing and realizes this is a waste of everyone’s time and effort. Hopefully they just let the kids play. Don’t count on it, though.

Photo via Twitter/@pmagic6

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