“Stone Cold” Steve Austin would love to open a can of whoop-ass on the NFC East.
We know what you’re thinking: What?
The former WWE superstar is outspoken on a number of topics, including his beloved Dallas Cowboys. That’s why the Texas Rattlesnake wouldn’t mind taking over under center for the Cowboys while Tony Romo remains out with a shoulder injury.
“I tell you what,” Austin told The Dallas Morning News in a recent interview, “I got some time on my hands. I could be there Sunday, playing the Philadelphia Eagles. I think I can line ’em up, throw for about 300, 400 yards. Get (Jason) Witten open, get Dez (Bryant) working. A lot of underneath routes. Give (Darren) McFadden the ball a few times. Maybe do a little end-around, fake the reverse pitchout, let me run downfield and Darren can throw me the ball. About 60 yards out, catch it in full stride and boom, spike it over the damn goalpost.”
Jeez. At the very least, it sounds like old Stone Cold could stomp a mudhole and walk it dry as an offensive coordinator. It couldn’t hurt. Austin has all but 100 percent ruled out a return to the ring, so at the very least, we need to find a way to get him out on the gridiron.
“Y’all saw me catch all those beers all those years — damn-near never dropped any of them,” he added. “You know how much money I could have made playing professional football as a tight end? But I can’t jump and I can’t run fast. That was my problem.”
Here’s more from Austin from his sitdown interview with the paper.
Austin on the Cowboys needs to happen, though. And if you think about it, he’s in the perfect position to do so. OK, so maybe not perfect given the fact he’s got a history of bad neck injuries, is 50 years old and hasn’t played competitive football (outside of “The Longest Yard”) since college. But still. Jerry Jones seems crazy enough to do it, and it would be a perfect way to promote “WrestleMania 32,” which will take place at AT&T Stadium, the home of the Cowboys.
Make it happen, guys. Hell yeah.