Deciphering Rob Gronkowski’s deluge of cryptic tweets truly is a fool’s errand.
But that won’t stop us from trying.
Back on March 1, the New England Patriots tight end tweeted “Bands a make her dance,” referencing Juicy J’s immortal song of the same name. On Wednesday, Gronkowski tweeted the phrase again, but this time with some added emphasis.
To clarify: This probably means nothing. It’s just a song lyric, after all. But since it’s still the offseason, why not read between the lines a bit?
In the context of Juicy J’s 2013 smash hit, “bands a make her dance” is advice on how to use money at a strip club to, well, increase your chances of experiencing whatever happens at strip clubs. And while we can’t totally eliminate the possibility that Gronk simply is a big fan of Juicy J/strip clubs, we have another theory.
Gronkowski still hasn’t committed to playing in the NFL next season, as careers in professional wrestling/acting reportedly have piqued his interest. But some have viewed his waffling as nothing more than a contract ploy.
With that in mind, one could argue “bands a make her dance” essentially is a message to the Patriots: “Show me the money, and I’ll play.” Gronk wouldn’t be totally out of line there, as he’s slated to make $8.9 million this season, a decrease from the $10.75 million he made in 2017 and a relative bargain considering his ridiculous talent.
Of course, there’s also a more probable explanation for this tweet and others: The All-Pro tight end is just trolling the Patriots and their fans.