Many NFL coaches relish in getting their points across with colorful analogies. But Paul Alexander may top them all.
Alexander joined the Dallas Cowboys in January as their new offensive line coach after spending the previous 23 seasons with the Cincinnati Bengals. While in Cincinnati, Alexander published a book titled “Perform,” and in doing some research on the Cowboys’ new coach, SB Nation’s Bobby Belt stumbled upon a gem of a passage about how Alexander uses ketchup bottles — specifically, Heinz ketchup bottles — to weed out unprepared players.
Here’s the excerpt:
“Are you the type of person who knows why the number ’57’ is etched on the neck of a bottle of Heinz ketchup? I’ve asked this question at seminars for years and typically about five percent of the people in the audiences know the answer. Perhaps the ’57’ represents the number of ingredients in the recipe, but why the location?
“It’s placed at the precise spot where if one taps gently on the tipped bottle, the ketchup flows freely from the bottle. Even the new plastic squeeze bottles have a perfectly placed ’57’ at its optimal squeezing position. The person who figured that out was a genius.
“When I see a large football player turn a bottle of ketchup upside down and pound at its heel with tremendous force yet with limited success, I immediately make the mental note:
“He must either play defensive line, or if he plays offensive line, he can’t play for me.”
There you have it: If you want to play on Alexander’s team, you better know how to manipulate a Heinz ketchup bottle.
The coach does go on to explain his bizarre tenet: The offensive line must be “the smartest, most cohesive group” on the field to defend gaps and thwart increasingly advanced defensive schemes, and “offensive linemen and their coaches seek to solve complex problems with simple solutions.”
Hence, hitting the “57” label on a Heinz ketchup bottle.
Dallas’ offensive line ranked fourth in the NFL in 2017, according to Pro Football Focus, and boasted three Pro Bowlers, so Alexander may be pleasantly surprised at the team’s next summer cookout.
