Let’s be honest: We’ve all been there.
Your fantasy football draft just ended and you’re feeling irrationally confident about your team (after using NESN.com’s comprehensive draft kit), but there’s still a familiar knot in your stomach. Why? Because you can’t think of a good team name.
But fear not: We’re here to help. A good fantasy name usually falls into one (or more) of three categories: 1) a pun off a player’s name, 2) a pop culture reference or 3) an inside joke.
We’ll leave No. 3 between you and your friends, but we certainly can help you out with the first two. Below is a list of funny/clever/dumb team names — most of which we stole from the deep reaches of the internet — to get your imagination going.
Because you can do better than picking “Show Me Your TDs” for the fourth straight year.
1. Mixon It Up
Looking to bounce back from a rough 2017 campaign? Start fresh by using this name and drafting Cincinnati Bengals running back Joe Mixon, who could be much more than a change-of-pace back in 2018.
2. What Can Brown Do For You?
… Quite a lot, if we’re talking about all-world receiver Antonio Brown, who delivered fantasy owners the most receiving yards in football last season.
3. Saquon In 60 Seconds
As you’ll discover in this post, using a rookie for your team name is a great way to prevent stale repeats. Fortunately, there are plenty of rookies with terrific names, with New York Giants No. 2 pick Saquon Barkley leading the pack.
4. Kerryon My Wayward Son
Told you… Shout-out to Sporting News for tracking down this terrific reference to Detroit Lions rookie running back Kerryon Johnson. If only he played for “Kansas” City.
5. Guice Guice Baby*
Nobody likes a vanilla fantasy team, which is why you should move like a poisonous mushroom to snag this name if you draft Washington Redskins rookie running back Derrius Guice.
UPDATE: Guice is out for the season with a torn ACL, so please don’t move like a poisonous mushroom to draft him.
6. Lucky No. 12
This one is for all the brave souls who take a chance on Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck, who hasn’t played a professional football game since 2016 but appears on track to (finally) return this season.
7. Rollin’ With Mahomes
It seems Patrick Mahomes is ready to take the reins in Kansas City. If you’re a believer, nothing would signal your faith in the Chiefs’ young QB than … a Coolio reference.
8. Don’t You Fournette About Me
Leonard Fournette won’t remember when Simple Minds released their timeless ’80s classic, but after his stellar rookie season, you certainly don’t want to forget the Jacksonville Jaguars running back on draft night.
9. Red Hot Jabrilli Peppers
Browns rookie safety Jabrill Peppers is on the other side of the ball, so he doesn’t provide much fantasy use. But this name is good enough to overlook that.
10. I Got A. Thielen
… That this name works pretty well if you do, in fact, draft Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Adam Thielen.
11. Don’t Go Chasing Watt Or Foles
Reddit can be a scary place, but it also was the source of this absolutely brilliant team name that combines Houston Texas defensive end J.J. Watt, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback/folk hero Nick Foles and TLC’s iconic ’90s hit.
12. Chalupa Batman
If puns of player names aren’t your thing, there are plenty of pop culture references to draw on. This classic from FX’s now-dormant “The League” is always a hit.
13. Party At Tyrod Taylor’s
Here’s one for the “Friday Night Lights” fans in the crowd… (Side note: Could Dallas Carter have beaten the 2017 Cleveland Browns?)
14. Assistant TO the Commissioner
If you love “The Office” and didn’t quite earn commissioner duties in your fantasy league, here’s a nice consolation prize.
15. The Real Life Or Just Fantasy?
Goodbye, everybody. It’s to go. But we’ll leave you with this name if Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” is your cup of tea — or just feeling a little existential.
Thumbnail photo via Charles LeClaire/USA TODAY Sports Images
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