Move over, Usain Bolt. Britney Spears is the fastest human ever … according to herself.

The 38-year-old singer posted a since-deleted photo on Instagram of her phone timer on 5.97 seconds Wednesday with the caption “Ran my first 5!!!! Getting over your fear of pushing it in the beginning is key … once I did that I hit 5 !!!! Usually I run 6 or 7 … my first try was 9 … and now I did it whoop !!!!! 100 meter dash!”


Impressive, Britney. Except if she actually pulled this off she would’ve absolutely obliterated Usain Bolt’s 100-meter world record by more than 3.5 seconds. Her alleged attempts of six, seven and eight seconds also would’ve shattered the record Bolt set in 2009 at the IAAF World Championships in Berlin with a time of 9.58 seconds.

Nobody knows for certain what Spears did in 5.97 seconds, but less than 24 hours later she deleted the photo and said her impressive dash was a joke in a new post captioned “obviously I was joking about running the 100 meter dash in 5.97 seconds …. the world record is held by Usain Bolt which is 9.58 seconds …. but you better believe I’m coming for the world record!”

It seems self-quarantining is making all of us lose our minds.

More Olympics: 2020 Olympics Appear To Be Latest Sporting Event Affected By COVID-19

Thumbnail photo via Kirby Lee/USA TODAY Sports Images