TulowGit2Quit – A Marriage of Bat Cracks and Beat Drops
Troy Tulowitzki hammered balls out of Coors Field for nearly a decade and MC Hammer’s biggest comeback hit was 2 Legit 2 Quit, following one of the most well-known songs of his decade.
While Tulowitzki was one of the best fantasy producers at shortstop in the mid-2000s, Hammer made it big in the late 80s/early 90s with massive hits like U Can’t Touch This, They Put Me in the Mix, and Turn This Mutha Out.
Both Silver Slugger and Grammy winner had rapid rises and speedy falls from the top of their game.
Hammer may have had more than 15 minutes of fame, but it wasn’t too much longer than the 14:37 run time of the above video for his return single. The epic was essentially a short film, full of 90s tasty cheese, with cameos from everyone from David “Bud Bundy” Faustino, Henry Winkler AKA The Fonz, Tony Danza from Who’s the Boss and infamous lip synchers Milli Vanilli. Sure, you got to blame it on something, but a rain delay ain’t it.
2 Legit 2 Quit was one of the most expensive music videos of all time. Maybe not as pricey as the 10-year, $157.75 million contract Tulow had with the Rockies, $38 million of which the Toronto Blue Jays were on the hook for when they released the oft-injured former fantasy stud in 2018.
That being said, MC, better known as Stanley Kirk Burrell when not wearing his baggy hammer pants, made $33 million in 1991 alone.
The dancing machine blew through $70 million and declared bankruptcy in 1996 after spending lavishly on music videos, stage shows, massive entourages, and lots and lots of stuff. He never reached the same level of musical success again, unless you count a karaoke contest on the Surreal Life on par with selling out stadiums.
Hammer’s fantasy namesake partner also never achieved the same heights after his heyday in the Mile High City. The five-time All-Star had one decent season in Toronto but was essentially done in baseball by the age of 32.
The Oakland rapper did share some of Tulowitzki’s familiarity around a baseball field, though. He got his nickname from none other than Mr. October Reggie Jackson. At 11 years old, Lil Hammer, or maybe gavel or mini mallet is more appropriate, was the batboy for the Oakland Athletics. Jackson gave Burrell the moniker because the Hall of Fame slugger though young Stanley, looked like long-time career home run king Hammerin’ Hank Aaron.
No word if Tulowitzki also owned 21 race horses and 17 luxury cars, like Burrell once did, or if the Have You Seen Her singer can hit a major league curveball, but the team marriage was a match made in heaven. So kneel, give thanks, and with Hammer to the fantasy gods for a fruitful rest of the season…you know what to do.
