Astros’ Alex Bregman Shaved His Mustache In Middle Of Game — But Why?

Hey, Houston Astros third baseman Alex Bregman: We must-ache you a question…

Specifically, why did you have a pencil-thin mustache in the second inning of Sunday’s 11-3 win over the Kansas City Royals, but not in the fourth inning? Oh, you don’t know what we’re talking about?

Check the footage:

Yeah, you totally shaved that thing.

Just to make sure you understand where we’re coming from, check out this photographic evidence:

So, what gives, Alex?

Were you afraid your facial toothbrush didn’t look cool? Did you simply lack the conviction to grow it all the way out?

That “I just shaved it” explanation (per KTRK-TV) isn’t going to fly here, pal.

Your teammate Gerrit Cole, for one, thought you rocked it well.

“I did like the mustache, I thought it played,” he said, via MLB.com. “It was Jeff Kent-esque. It was on top of his lip when he stabbed that soft liner in the first inning, which got us out of a jam.

“Personally, I’m a fan of the ‘stache, but I guess it’s been sent down. It’s been DFA’d. We’ll wait until it comes back.”

Mr. Cole might be OK with waiting for you to grow your stache back out, Alex, but we think you’ve lost the privilege. Your transgressions against committed mustache-growers everywhere won’t soon be forgotten.