A few samples from Stern’s unspoken, yet obvious list: Promote violence, promote gambling, criticize officiating and criticize him.
In general, just don’t say anything stupid that’ll make your employer look bad. That’s a pretty basic rule we can all live by, whether we work in basketball or in the fast-food industry.
Yet evidently, Minnesota general manager David Kahn just doesn’t get it.
For the 15th time in franchise history, the Timberwolves showed up to the NBA draft lottery in New York on Tuesday night, and for the 15th time, they came up short of winning the No. 1 overall pick. Just as they missed out in previous seasons on Shaquille O’Neal, Allen Iverson, Derrick Rose, Blake Griffin and John Wall, the Wolves missed out again on the No. 1 selection this year, likely Kyrie Irving. They’re left with the consolation prize of a No. 2 pick.
Kahn’s response, on national television?
“This league has a habit — I’m just going to say a habit — of producing some pretty incredible storylines. Last year it was Abe Pollin‘s widow, and this year it was a 14-year-old boy, and the only thing we have in common is we’ve both been bar mitzvahed. We were done. We were toast.”
Kahn has a point. This year, the winning owner sent his teenage son battling neurofibromatosis, and last year, when the Wizards took the top spot, their owner had recently passed away. Other convenient stories in past years include Derrick Rose and LeBron James being drafted by their hometown teams, the Bulls winning the No. 1 pick immediately after Michael Jordan‘s retirement, and big-market teams revitalizing their franchises with big-name prospects. Think Patrick Ewing in New York, or Blake Griffin in L.A.
But if you have a job in the NBA, you’re just not supposed to talk like that. The league gives you your paycheck every other week, albeit indirectly. Without the league set up the way it is — rigged or not, it’s not your place to tell — you can’t feed your family. So don’t go comparing it to professional wrestling. Leave that to us media types.
Kahn went back on his statement Wednesday, claiming it was a joke, and that he doesn’t believe in “jinxes, curses or hocus pocus.” Maybe, maybe not. But the only joke here is you, Mr. Kahn. You made a huge mistake, you realized a kajillion-dollar fine was on the way and you covered up ASAP.
At the end of the day, the lottery system is one big celebration of luck of the draw. There’s nothing intellectually compelling about it — the same way ESPN shows us the emotional reactions of two poker players watching the cards dealt when they’re already all-in. There’s no skill in that. It’s all up to random chance.
The point is: It’s silly to analyze the bounces ping-pong balls take one way or the other. The lottery is what it is — sometimes you win, sometimes you lose and sometimes you’re lucky enough not to be there in the first place. We could all save our breath by ending the conversation there.
What do you think of the NBA draft lottery? Share your thoughts below.
