LeBron James Could Never Make It in NFL, And Any Other Thought Is Ludicrous

For whatever reason, people are taking LeBron James‘ “interest” in playing in the NFL with at least a small level of seriousness.

Pardon me while I giggle.

Look, there’s no question that LeBron is one of the most gifted athletes of his generation. His size, speed, strength and overall athleticism is a combination that we may have not seen since Bo Jackson. Even then, though, the comparison doesn’t work, as James has seven inches and 25 pounds on Jackson.

But what Jackson did is something LeBron can’t, and that’s play in the National Football League.

The idea itself isn’t so ridiculous on the surface. James was a highly recruited high school football player in Ohio, and had he continued on the path — either to Miami, USC, Michigan or Ohio State — and lived the life of a football player, he’d probably be a pretty good receiving option in the NFL.

Instead, James made the smart decision to play basketball, a sport with less physical danger and much more money. He’s now rich and famous and is known across the globe. It’s hard to criticize him for the route he took to stardom, as it probably saved him from a handful of concussions and ACL sprains.

While that’s all well and good, that career path steered him away from the toughness that is required to play the sport of football. He plays in the NBA, where if another man’s hand brushes against your giant shoulder muscle, it is a violation of the rules. Where fans want to launch an FBI investigation for minor contact that goes uncalled. Where you have to yell at your mom for misbehaving on the baseline.

I’m sorry (well, no I’m not), but the NBA is soft.

Yeah, it’s a sport that’s rough on the knees, and taking charges from 250-pound men takes guts, and hitting a hardwood floor from seven feet in the air doesn’t tickle, and all of that. But still, the league allows players to lie in agony after getting poked in the eye or gently shoved while driving to the net. If there’s no whistle, then look out, because the NBA star is going to be angry.

Now picture that NBA star getting hit like this:

Or this:

Or this:

Oh wait — that is a hit that LeBron has shown he’s tough enough to withstand. Don’t worry, though — he got his foul shots.

But hey, at least he won the Super Bowl in this commercial. Who needs to actually win championships when you can just celebrate titles whenever you want?

Maybe that last one is unfair, but you get the point. LeBron has been in the NBA for eight years. He hasn’t been hit hard by a linebacker or safety since 2002. When you’ve been away from contact for that long, and when you’ve never even stepped on a college field, you can’t just hop on an NFL field with the biggest, strongest and fastest men on the planet when they’re looking to take your head off. It’d be a suicide mission.

LeBron may have made some bad decisions in his past, but he’s smart enough not to make this one.