Chip Kelly’s getting coal in his stocking this year.
Now that we’ve gotten our obligatory Christmas joke out of the way, let’s talk Philadelphia Eagles football.
The Eagles entered the season with sky-high expectations, which made sense. They were in a winnable NFC East, and they had a busy offseason that included signing supposed franchise running back DeMarco Murray.
Signing with the Eagles, however, might have been the best moment of the Murray era in Philly, and it could ultimately be what defines Kelly’s run with the Eagles. Philadelphia gave Kelly the ability to pick his players, and the entire Murray situation shows just why it’s such a horrible idea to do that, if you don’t get one of very few coaches able of wearing both the head coach and general manager hats.
Murray’s been an disaster, and it’s no surprise the Eagles have been horrible, too. Kelly and the Eagles gave Murray a whole bunch of money, apparently lacking the foresight to realize he might not be the greatest fit. Even with the Eagles facing a fourth-and-1 in the first half Sunday against Arizona — the absolute perfect situation to use Murray — Kelly turned to Ryan Mathews.
So here we are, days from Christmas, and Murray’s got just 21 carries in his last three games. The Eagles are 6-8. It doesn’t look good, even after a fluke win over the mighty Patriots a few weeks back.
But about that winnable NFC East. Somehow, someway, the Eagles are still alive, despite being two games under .500, and they’ll be playing a huge game against Washington on Saturday night. If the Eagles find a way to win that game, it’s probably safe to assume neither Kelly nor Murray will have much to do with it.
On to the Week 16 power rankings.
1. Carolina Panthers (Last week: 1): Just give all the awards to Cam Newton. He threw five touchdown passes AND ran for 100 yards AND led his team to victory in the final minutes to help them stay undefeated. He’s been simply fantastic over the last two months.
2. Arizona Cardinals (Last week: 2): Everyone’s in love with the Cardinals, and they are a good team. But just chucking 40- or 50-yard passes seemingly every other play doesn’t seem like a recipe for winning in the playoffs.
3. New England Patriots (Last week: 3): Injuries continue to dominate the conversation around the Patriots, which is why they’ll get a pass for not looking incredibly dominant against a woeful Titans team Sunday.
4. Seattle Seahawks (Last week: 5): There’s peaking at the right time, and then there’s what the Seahawks are doing. We’re already salivating at the idea of a Seahawks-Panthers matchup in the divisional round.
5. Cincinnati Bengals (Last week: 6): A.J. McCarron took care of business Sunday on the road, completing 71 of his passes and throwing a touchdown. Sure, it was against the 49ers, but still.
6. Pittsburgh Steelers (Last week: 7): The Steelers are no longer “the team no one wants to play,” because, well, duh.
7. Denver Broncos (Last week: 4): The Broncos have scored exactly zero points in the second half of their last three games, which isn’t really conducive to winning games this time of the year.
8. Green Bay Packers (Last week: 8): The Packers won, and they’re also in the playoffs. But go watch Aaron Rodgers’ postgame news conference and tell me that sounds and looks like a guy who’s got a lot of confidence in anything his team is doing or will do.
9. Kansas City Chiefs (Last week: 9): The Chiefs’ opponents since Nov. 22: San Diego, Buffalo, Oakland, San Diego, Baltimore — and they finish the season with Cleveland and Oakland. Not exactly playoff tune-ups.
10. New York Jets (Last week: 10): We’ve been saying all along about how weird it was that Pittsburgh was on the outside of the playoff picture. Well, after beating Dallas on Saturday night, the Jets all of a sudden need help to get in. Also weird.
11. Minnesota Vikings (Last week: 11): Should have seen this coming: The Vikings, after losing three of four to teams who are actually pretty good, returned home to hammer a bad Chicago team.
12. Washington Redskins (Last week: 13): Everyone wants to make fun of Jay Gruden, probably because he’s got a real punchable face, but Kirk Cousins has a 115.0 passer rating since mid-October, and Washington looks like it should get into the playoffs, so …
13. Houston Texans (Last week: 16): Forget everything I said about the Texans up until about a month or so ago. That’s just AFC South life.
14. New York Giants (Last week: 14): So, there’s no way Tom Coughlin sees another season on the Giants’ sideline, right?
15. Philadelphia Eagles (Last week: 12): Again, Kelly gave Murray $42 million over five seasons. On Sunday, ol’ Chip gave Murray two carries.
16. Buffalo Bills (Last week: 15): Rex Ryan deserves another season out of principle (the principle being they gave him $27.5 million), but it’s tough to argue he’s earned it — another season or the money.
17. Oakland Raiders (Last week: 17): Derek Carr’s disastrous first quarter might have cost the Raiders a real nice win against the Packers.
18. Atlanta Falcons (Last week: 21): It’s spelled B-O-R-T-L-E-S, in case you were wondering for the Christmas/thank-you card, Falcons.
19. St. Louis Rams (Last week: 20): The Rams won their professional football game against the team from Tampa Bay on Thursday.
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Last week: 19): The Buccaneers lost their professional football game against the team from St. Louis on Thursday.
21. Indianapolis Colts (Last week: 18): NFL Media reported Sunday that Chuck Pagano will be a “hot candidate” for teams looking for coaches, if he’s fired by the Colts. Those teams must have short memories.
22. Chicago Bears (Last week: 22): It’s not easy ranking these teams at the bottom of this list when they all lose.
23. Dallas Cowboys (Last week: 23): Kellen Moore, despite one horrible mistake, actually looked pretty good. More than Matt Cassel can say at this point.
24. Detroit Lions (Last week: 26): Matthew Stafford had as many touchdown passes as he did incompletions Monday night in New Orleans.
25. San Diego Chargers (Last week: 32): They won — and covered! — at home for the first time since the Berlin Wall fell. (Might have to double-check that.)
26. Jacksonville Jaguars (Last week: 27): Oh, Blake Bortles. Thanks for making me look like an idiot.
27. Miami Dolphins (Last week: 24): Lamar Miller in Weeks 13 and 14 got 23 carries for 202 yards. Against one of the NFL’s worst rushing defenses on Sunday, he got nine carries. Nine freaking carries. It’s not rocket science, folks.
28. Baltimore Ravens (Last week: 27): Jimmy Clausen is their quarterback, guys.
29. New Orleans Saints (Last week: 26): The Saints’ defense is laughably pathetic. You spend half the time watching them thinking, “They can’t possibly be this bad,” and they give up two touchdowns before the thought is completed.
30. San Francisco 49ers (Last week: 29): You try writing something witty or informational about the 49ers in late December. Bet you can’t.
31. Cleveland Browns (Last week: 30): Johnny Manziel hopes the entire Browns’ coaching staff returns for next season, which is funny when you consider, you know, Manziel might not be back himself.
32. Tennessee Titans (Last week: 31): Because it wouldn’t have made much sense to keep them at No. 31 while dropping Cleveland two spots, ya know?
Thumbnail photo via Eric Hartline/USA TODAY Sports Images
