Let’s get right to it: Matt Patricia’s time with the Detroit Lions thus far has been an absolute disaster.

Patricia made his debut as an NFL head coach Monday night and had to stand there for three-plus hours watching his Lions get dump-trucked in Detroit by rookie quarterback Sam Darnold and the New York Jets.

Pretty much nothing went right for Patricia’s crew in the 48-17 loss, especially on offense, where Detroit turned it over five times and starting quarterback Matthew Stafford threw four interceptions. Tom Brady, he is not.

And when the Lions did turn it over, the Jets turned it into points, as evidenced by, you know, those 48 points. If you want to go back to the Super Bowl, when Patricia was still defensive coordinator of the New England Patriots, his teams have now allowed 99 points in the last two games — to Nick Foles and a rookie.

Ironically, things started perfectly, with the Lions getting a pick-six on the first play of the game, but it was all downhill from there.

“We’ve got to coach this a lot better than what we did,” Patricia told reporters after the game. “We’ve got to go out and execute a lot better on the field. It’s a team game, and it starts with me.”

The media, of course, had its way with the Lions, too. The Detroit Free Press ran headlines insisting MTV’s “Jersey Shore” was “less of a trainwreck” than Monday night’s game, while also accusing the Lions of quitting in the opener.

The Free Press’ Shawn Windsor wrote: “It’s hard to know where to start, so let’s start with this: Your Detroit Lions look terrible.

“That’s it.

“There’s nothing else to say. Except that they also looked ill-prepared, unsettled, and incohesive.”


At least it can only go up from here?

All of this comes after a tumultuous offseason during which The Detroit News revealed Patricia in 1996 was indicted for sexual assault. The case was eventually dismissed, and Patricia has insisted he did nothing wrong.

So, yeah, his Detroit tenure could be going a lot better.

Thumbnail photo via Raj Mehta/USA TODAY Sports Images