The Philadelphia Flyers have a new mascot, and that it arrives a month before Halloween is fitting — because this thing is pure nightmare fuel.
The Flyers on Monday introduced “Gritty” to the world, and quite frankly, we should all be terrified.
The apparent lovechild of Grimace and a jack-o-lantern, the hairy mascot is here to haunt your dreams.
It me. #Gritty pic.twitter.com/HfTMVtEAFy
— Gritty (@GrittyNHL) September 24, 2018
Join us in welcoming the newest member of the #Flyers Family, @GrittyNHL!!
Learn more about Gritty: https://t.co/eQRwTtD54w https://t.co/njHQO1824b
— Philadelphia Flyers (@NHLFlyers) September 24, 2018
Then there’s this GIF, which is what many scientists believe is the last thing humans see before they die.
Gritty kind of looks like what Donald Trump would look like if he grew the hair on his head all over his body. It looks like what the Phillie Phanatic would look like if you hit in the head with a shovel, dipped it in orange paint and slapped a pair of googly eyes on it. It looks like a rejected “Monsters Inc.” character. It looks like a down-on-his-luck drug dealer character on “Sesame Street” used to teach children a valuable lesson about not only the dangers of drugs but the importance of not judging a book by its cover.
Those dance moves, though.
“His father was a ‘bully,’ so naturally he has some of those tendencies — talented but feisty, a fierce competitor, known for his agility given his size,” the “Get To Know Gritty” section of the Flyers’ team website reads. “He’s loyal but mischievous; the ultimate Flyers fan who loves the orange and black, but is unwelcoming to anyone who opposes his team. Legend has it he earned the name ‘Gritty’ for possessing an attitude so similar to the team he follows.”
And if the Flyers were hoping to make a social media splash with the unveiling, mission accomplished. Sure, almost all of the feedback was negative, but buzz is buzz we suppose.
80% of my timeline is photos of that lab experiment gone horribly wrong the flyers are calling a mascot. truly the darkest of times.
— Matt d (@PSUMatt2005) September 24, 2018
https://twitter.com/b1rky/status/1044249777557446659
https://twitter.com/bortzy67/status/1044249187687288835
It’s almost bad enough to make you forget about the Ilya Bryzgalov disaster … almost.
