Is it the worst thing in the wide world of sports? Of course not. There are literally dozens and dozens of diehard Coyotes fans who will argue this point to the death.
And I don’t blame them — the team isn’t even that awful and Jobing.com Arena happens to be a gem of a venue. Watching live hockey in shorts and a tank top? Sure. Tailgating in the dead of winter with a sixer of Tecate? Yes, please. There’s a reason why the Thrashers — and not the Coyotes — packed up and moved from to Winnipeg. A coin flip, perhaps?
But what irks me most is that the Coyotes aren’t just averaging the fewest fans per game in the NHL this season (at under 11,000 per home game), they’re doing so during a pretty decent year. On the heels of two straight playoff appearances — and seven of seven “one and done” playoff appearances in franchise history — the Coyotes are basically the lovable losers of the West. But play great, exciting hockey.
It’s just too bad no one has told Phoenix residents yet.
As of Wednesday morning, they sit in 10th place in the West — tied with the Kings and Avalanche with 39 points. The ‘Yotes are just eight points away from fourth place in the Conference and two points away from first place in the division.
If fans won’t come out to see good hockey, fierce competition and arguably the NHL’s most interesting man not named Ilya Bryzgalov in Paul Bissonnette (follow him on Twitter if you don’t believe me), then it’s to throw in the towel, desert-dwellers. Yes, hockey can thrive in “non-hockey” environments — just look at San Jose — but enough is enough. It was a fun attempt, but the NHL just isn’t meant for Phoenix. Arizona is a baseball warehouse, a football factory — so let’s just stop there.
If you don’t believe me, just ask the millions of Whalers fans, Quebec City natives and proud Ontarians.
In fact, I can think of a few “bad,” yet better sports ideas than keeping an NHL team in The Valley of the Sun, as seen below.
Selling Babe Ruth
Not cool, Harry Frazee — not cool at all. But without that move, the Yankees wouldn’t be as hated and the Sox wouldn’t be as loved.
LeBron James’ decision to do The Decision
Sure the whole world hates him but think about it — he was choosing between Cleveland and South Beach. I repeat: Cleveland or South Beach.
Disco Demolition Night
Any promotion in the 1970s sounds like a bad idea, but to hold one at the old Comiskey Park during a doubleheader is just plain … awesome. After all, that July evening in 1979 was the night disco died. Thank you, Chicago.
10-cent Beer Night
June 4, 1974 will go do as one of the most memorable performances in Cleveland Indians franchise history. It also went down as another check in the win column for the Rangers (due to forfeit). Yada, yada, yada, anyone who argues against beer promotions is no friend of mine.
FoxTrax
A glowing puck firing across the screen like a shooting star may sound stupid … because it is. But it changed colors based on speed!
I repeat: Cleveland. Or. South. Beach.
Stadium naming rights
KFC Yum! Center. Crocodile Rock. Littlejohn Coliseum. Whataburger Field. National Car Rental Center. Shall I continue? No, because they’re all superb.
Chicago White Sox’ shorts
As much as baseball fans in 1976 liked seeing grown men run around in short, tight shorts, this was a horrible idea for baseball … and tanlines.
The XFL
A complete failure, yes, but how would we know who hated “me” (or who “he” hated?) if it weren’t for Vince McMahon‘s gridiron brain child?
Celebrities singing the National Anthem
Roseanne Barr, ladies and gentlemen. If anything, this makes you feel a lot better about that karaoke performance you cackled out last month.
Putting ones fingers near Alex Burrows’ mouth
Feeding idiots keeps them busy for a few minutes.
Putting ones ear near Mike Tyson’s mouth
At least it will shut him up for at least a few seconds?
Putting ones foot near Rex Ryan’s mouth
See both answers above.
