If more people in the world had a sense of humor like Kiké Hernández, the world would be a better place.
The Red Sox utility man joined Boston ahead of this season and since is emerging as the complete player manager Alex Cora and chief baseball operator Chaim Bloom envisioned he would be.
Hernández has hit three home runs in his last two games for the Red Sox, and leads Boston with nine homers over the last month. But in addition to his bat heating up, and the plays he makes in just about any position in the field, the 29-year-old brings another important intangible to the team.
Not everyone is funny enough to prank their manager into thinking they don't speak any English for half of a season.
In a recent piece by NBC Sports Boston's John Tomase, Hernández shared the time he did just that during his time with Triple-A Oklahoma City while in the Astros organization.
Here's an excerpt:
His manager was an old-school hard-(expletive) named Tony DeFrancesco who had missed spring training and the start of the season while being treated for cancer. When he returned in late May to take over Triple-A Oklahoma City, Hernández was hitting over .300.
"You're a pretty good baseball player," he told Hernández in their first meeting. "How's your English?"
Hernández, who is perfectly fluent with barely even a hint of an accent, said he had one immediate thought.
"Well, you're (expletived)," he said with a laugh. "And I said, 'English class! English class! Very, very good!"
For the next month, Hernández summoned a translator for every interaction with DeFrancesco, wondering why the manager never noted that he didn't require one to talk to the pitcher during mound visits.
Teammates could barely contain themselves at the length of the deception. Hernández finally broke character in a team meeting.
"We were going through a rough stretch and he pulled all the position players into his office and he was wearing us out, and in the middle of him yelling at us and cussing us out, I raised my hand and he goes, 'WHAT?!? WHAT THE (EXPLETIVE) DO YOU WANT!??'" Hernández said, clearly giddy at the memory. "And I told him, 'I just want you to know that I speak perfect English and that I've been (expletive) with you this whole time. He started laughing like, 'I knew it! I knew it!' and he couldn't be mad anymore."
That's the type of player you want in your clubhouse.
