If there’s been one consistent element of Bill Belichick‘s tenure in New England, it’s been the ever-entertaining injury report. Whether Tom Brady really was “probable” with an “elbow injury” for several years, we never really can know, but we certainly have our doubts.
The star quarterback found his way on the practice report a couple of times this week, but for “non-injury reasons.” Such a mysterious limitation piqued the curiosity of some reporters, who told the head coach that fans never like seeing Brady’s name on the list.
“Well it wasn’t injury-related,” Belichick said. “I can’t tell anybody else what to think but we list them based on the way they are. However they are, that’s how we list it.”
Belichick then delved into what the “non-injury” reasons could be.
“There could be a lot of reasons — personal reasons, a guy could have to go to a funeral, maybe he has a family issue that he needs to attend to. If it’s not injury related, then it’s not injury related,” Belichick said, offering a new variation of “it is what it is.”
“If it’s injury related then we list it. I don’t know what you guys are looking for. If a guy has an injury then we list the injury. If he doesn’t have an injury then we say it’s not injury-related. What am I missing here? I’m confused.”
After yet another question, Belichick asked the reporters if he should start lying on the practice report.
“But if he doesn’t practice and it’s not injury-related, then that’s how we’re going to list it,” he said. “Do you want us to say he did practice when he didn’t practice? No, we’re not going to do that. If he didn’t practice then if there’s an injury then we list it. If it’s not an injury, then we don’t list it.”
It seems pretty simple, and with any other coach it may be a mundane exchange, but with Belichick, these are the types of conversation that are truly one-of-a-kind.
What was so confusing about Belichick’s message?
“We have one of the great young coaches in the league, an absolute member of this family and has been for a long time, so we want him to become a Hall of Famer. So it’s been taken care of.”
–Pat Riley, trying to convince everyone that Erik Spoelstra is indeed a good coach
This is not the first time that “IHOP” and “bull droppings” have been used together in a sentence.
The title of this video is “Good luck trying to win your girlfriend a stuffed animal,” which, coincidentally, probably won’t be an issue for its main character.