Rob Gronkowski is retired, and it’s going to stay that way until he has a drastic change of mind — that much we know by now.

In the former New England Patriots tight end’s media tour promoting his new CBD business venture, he’s said the same things in just about every interview he’s done. Physically, he could get better and return, but the desire to play football just isn’t there anymore.

Could that change with a little help from Patriots quarterback and Gronk’s close friend, Tom Brady? It’s possible, Gronkowski told ESPN’s Adam Schefter, but his list of demands is, uh, let’s just say different.

“I’m gonna be doing his treatment, doing his pliability, and if he comes over and rubs some CBDMedic on me,” Gronkowski told Schefter on Schefter’s podcast, “then I’ll feel twice as good then and I’ll be ready to go.

“There would have to be some rules, like ‘All right, am I just showing up to the game? Like, are you going to give me a game plan on Saturday? Do I have to stay at the hotel the night before?’ What if I just showed up to the game one day and just did the transaction?”

The CBD line was a nice little plug for Gronkowski’s business ventures, but there’s probably plenty of truth to the second part about not having to practice. And as long as Bill Belichick is calling the shots in New England, there’s no way that’s going to fly. So don’t hold your breath on a return.

“Can you do that? Is that possible?” Gronkowski continued. “If I just showed up to the game, no practice, no nothing, I went over the script with Tom in my backyard on Saturday and showed up to the game on Sunday and was ready to go. How crazy would that be?

“And I just have like five plays in the game, they’re all go routes and he just launches up the ball to me five times. … Just throw me the ball five times. I’ve got five plays.”

Hard to see that happening, but given the impact Gronkowski had on the AFC Championship Game and Super Bowl — with some clutch receptions in crunch time — it has to be something they’ve wondered about in Foxboro since the hulking superstar walked away.

Gronkowski got serious, though, admitting he still feels fulfilled without football, and it’s an itch he doesn’t need to scratch at the moment.

“The only thing, I talked about it already, I know I’ll be there physically to be able to play the game of football again, hands down,” he told Schefter. “That’s why I took off, because I needed my body to recover. I love being fit and love staying in shape. … I know physically I’ll be able to be there, for sure. It’s just if I have that desire to come back and play. … I’m just staying busy with (business). It’s not like I’m not waking up with a passion. I’m waking up to get things done every single morning.”

But …

“I’m really truly enjoying it, and I feel if I have that desire, and I feel like my name is getting called and there’s a passion within myself and it’s a consistent one, then that’s the time I’d entertain coming back.”

Thumbnail photo via Jeremy Brevard/USA TODAY Sports Images