That, however, is apparently what Shaquille O'Neal wants to do, according to The Harvard Crimson.
According to the school newspaper, the NBA superstar challenged Harvard's rowers to a race down the Charles River, and he wants to bring friends Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen.
The Harvard response was predictably nerdy:
"My first thought was 'Really, Shaq? Are you sure you don't want a coxswain?' The Charles is pretty tricky. Perhaps Shaq should recruit a coxswain who knows the river. But knowing O’Neal, he'll probably just throw Rajon Rondo or Nate Robinson in the bow and hope for the best. (Good luck on the Weeks turn.)"
Come on, Harvard — this is the professional leagues of trash talk. If you want to go toe-to-toe with Garnett, you're going to have to step it up.