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Celtics’ Beer Prices Second-Highest in NBA at $8, Knicks, Suns Tied for Most Expensive

Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett were not the only people who came away disgruntled after the Eastern Conference Finals last spring. Beer-drinkers could not have been happy, either, after taking a hit in the wallet whenever they wanted to get lubed up.

The Celtics have the second-most expensive beer prices in the NBA at $8 a cup, according to Business Insider, matching the Heat and Wizards’ rich prices. The highest-priced beer, not surprisingly, is at Madison Square Garden in New York. But in a somewhat surprising development, the Suns tie the Knicks with beers that come in at $9 a pop.

Then again, maybe the Suns’ price-gouging should not come as a surprise. Owner Robert Sarver is the penny-pinching miser who bragged during the lockout that his wife asked him to bring home the mid-level exception in a designer handbag, after all. He is pretty much the worst.

A few other notable elements of Business Insider’s findings, plus our speculative explanations for the prices:

• The Brooklyn Nets charge $7.75, while the Portland Trail Blazers charge exactly $7. We can only imagine that is roughly the going rate for a craft microbrew.
• The Utah Jazz charge $7.50 per beer, most likely because Energy Solutions Arena is one of six places in Salt Lake City where a patron can order a beer with a whopping 3.2 percent alcohol by weight.
• A fan at a Spurs or Thunder game only needs to fork over $5 for a brewski. This is probably because those teams have honed the art of winning on a budget so well, they have somehow figured out that charging less for concessions makes more money in the long run. Genius.
• The Orlando Magic charge just $5.25, off the rationale that if their fans get blackout drunk, they might not remember how terrible the team is.
• Detroit fans need to cough up $7 for a beer at a Pistons game. No word on how much extra it costs to throw it at a player.
• The Bucks charge $6.50, and reserve the right to eject any fan who requests a Budweiser.
• The Raptors’ price of $7.29 per beer is the only price in the NBA that does not round out to an even 25-cent amount. Canadians.