“Thursday Night Football” is back, and so are the NFL’s lovely “Color Rush” uniforms.
All 32 Color Rush uniforms — designed by Nike, were revealed Tuesday — so naturally, NESN.com’s Pat Bradley and Cameron McDonough decided to rank them from worst to best.
We should note, though, that six teams — the New York Jets, Cleveland Browns, Los Angeles Rams, Atlanta Falcons, Houston Texans and Arizona Cardinals — will wear white for their Thursday night games to avoid confusion for those who are colorblind. The Indianapolis Colts, Washington Redskins and Detroit Lions also won’t wear them because their Thanksgiving games aren’t Color Rush contests.
Without further ado, let’s get to the rankings.
32. Jacksonville Jaguars
Pat: This is such a missed opportunity. Teal is the best color in the Jaguars’ uniform, and instead they chose to go with the ugliest shade of mustard yellow to ever grace the Earth. These are disgusting, and they’re the same uniforms as last year. Cam likes the helmets, but I’m too blinded by the rest of the ugliness to notice.
Cam: My first reaction to seeing these uniforms is somewhere between bawling uncontrollably and puking (maybe both?), but for some reason I don’t mind the Jaguars’ helmets.
31. Washington Redskins
Pat: Remember the Super Bowl 50 commercial that had the weiner dogs in hot dog costumes running towards people in ketchup and mustard costumes? This year, they should replace those people with Redskins players in color rush uniforms. But hey, at least if football doesn’t work out they can be McDonald’s spokesmen.
30. Miami Dolphins
Pat: There are good shades of orange and bad shades of orange. The Dolphins chose the bad shade of orange, and once again another team ignored the opportunity for some awesome neon teal uniforms. The special effects in the promo above make them look better than Nike’s official photos do.
Cam: The Dolphins have so many fun possibilities with their color scheme, yet they choose this. Sigh.
PRETTY BAD (ALL BLACK)
29. San Francisco 49ers
Cam: Among the several all-black “Color Rush” uniforms, this one stands out — and not in a good way. The 49ers are one of the most iconic football teams of all time, yet this is the best they could come up with?
28. Pittsburgh Steelers
Pat: These are terrible. Why ruin such an iconic jersey? This looks like a fake jersey you find on the discount rack at Marshall’s with iron-on numbers.
Cam: The more I look at this, the more it grows on me (Don’t tell Pat).
27. Cleveland Browns
Pat: With all due respect to this Twitter user, America is lucky that the Browns will wear all white for their matchup against the Ravens instead of these hideous uniforms.
26. Detroit Lions
Pat: I actually don’t hate these, and enjoy the way the Honolulu Blue pops. But I was overruled by Cam and NESN’s resident Lions fan, Jeff Hancock.
Cam: If Jeff doesn’t like it, then I must agree.
25. Arizona Cardinals
Pat: These kind of look like Louisville football uniforms, but we actually think they look pretty nice. Still, black isn’t really a color.
24. Philadelphia Eagles
Cam: These are all black, but also like a regular uniform, so we didn’t know what to do.
Way to be original, guys.
SLIGHTLY LESS BAD (ALL WHITE)
18. New York Giants
Cam: My first reaction to this choice can best be describe in one word — Meh. It’s certainly not bad by any stretch, but we’re supposed to have fun with these uniforms, and this is more playing it safe.
17. Cincinnati Bengals
Pat: Maybe they should change their name to the Cincinnati Siberian Tigers.
16. Dallas Cowboys
Cam: I have to admit, when I first saw these uniforms on Thanksgiving Day last year, I was pretty impressed. We had seen some awful Color Rush options in the prior weeks, and this just looked so much better to me. It’s by no means a bold choice, but it works.
15. Oakland Raiders
Pat: The silver just looks good with the white.
14. New Orleans Saints
Cam: This just looks so cool. The stripes with the white works perfectly, and it’s definitely the best of the all-white options.
13. Atlanta Falcons
Cam: These aren’t bad, but they also are pretty bland compared to some of the other uniforms revealed Tuesday.
12. New York Jets
Cam: Christmas will come early this Thursday when the Jets don similar Color Rush uniforms from last year’s contest against the Bills. But maybe this is one Christmas present we could do without.
NOT TOO SHABBY
11. San Diego Chargers
Cam: The helmets aren’t the greatest, but the lightning bolts on the jersey and pants look sleek.
10. New England Patriots
Pat: We don’t hate them, but we don’t love them either. They actually kind of look like Houston Texans’ jerseys, which is weird, because they’re playing Houston when they wear these
Cam: I just feel like this was a lost opportunity. They certainly aren’t bad, but I would have preferred Pat the Patriot to be incorporated somehow.
9. Buffalo Bills
Pat: Oh, the Starbucks holiday cup uniforms. I don’t like the helmets, but the bright red actually isn’t terrible.
8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Pat: Jameis Winston and the Bucs got their fourth straight win over the Falcons because of these uniforms. They’ll go for No. 5 when they take the field in Week 9. Seriously, Atlanta, it was this easy. The red is a crisp shade, the charcoal letters pop with the outline. These are terrific.
7. Minnesota Vikings
Cam: The all-purple definitely is unique, but in a good way. And the yellow stripes on the pants and shoulders compliment the purple well.
6. Carolina Panthers
Cam: If it’s good enough for Luke Kuechly, then it’s good enough for me.
5. Tennessee Titans
Cam: This is pretty much the same as last year, but why change a good thing?
4. Denver Broncos
Cam: Now this orange is what we’re talking about — sorry, Dolphins. And the best part is the throwback “D” on the helmet.
3. Baltimore Ravens
Cam: Pat said he usually isn’t a fan of purple, but this version with the gold works perfectly.
2. Los Angeles Rams
Pat: While watching “Monday Night Football” during Week 1, I actually was trying to figure out why L.A. isn’t wearing these beauties instead of the boring old St. Louis version they’ve worn for the entire 21st century. I don’t even like the color yellow that much, but I can’t deny that these rock. Unfortunately, they’ll be wearing a white version during their color rush game.
1. Seattle Seahawks
Pat: There are no words to describe how incredibly perfect these are. Well, no words we can type in this post, at least.
Cam: These might be the most beautiful jerseys of all time. I simply can’t describe how much I love these. It’s just pure beauty.
Thumbnail photo via Reinhold Matay/USA TODAY Sports Images