You've got to admire how full of themselves the NFL owners are. With reports suggesting the lockout was nearing an end, the owners grabbed the microphone Thursday and read the following statement, more or less recreated here word for word:
"Hi fans! This is your friendly neighborhood NFL owner. I just want to be the first to tell you the great news that, thanks to the dedication of myself and the other selfless capitalists in the league boardroom to bring back the all-American game y'all know and love, the lockout is over! May happy little shoulder-padded gremlins visit you today and give you a massage, because you earned it with your patience while the evil players association was trying to take away your football. Gooooooooo NFL!"
Just as the bad blood had started to turn into good vibrations, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and the owners seized control of the positive thoughts and wrestled them back into their holes. Do they expect us to conveniently forget that it was the owners, not the players, who started this work stoppage, and that a new collective bargaining agreement still is not agreed to, let alone signed?
The owners saw a PR grab and they took it with disingenuos frowns on their faces, as if trying to underscore all the stress they've been under to undo a fiasco they created. Their message? We took away offseason football from fans and challenged our employees' rights to perform their jobs, but now we're the good guys that are giving it back! And by the way, players, here's how we've decided you should reform your union to make it easier for us to get the deal we want next time. No need to say thank you.
Try this in your daily life sometime. Unilaterally declare you're not letting your kids play with their toys and discontinuing their allowance. Then come back in four months and tell them you're re-instituting toys and allowances. Oh yeah, and tell them that from now on, you'll decide how they can play with their toys and what kind of candy they can spend their allowances on.
Do you think they'll remember you as the great daddy who gave them back their fun, or the bad guy who took it away in the first place?
Exactly.
PHOTO OF THE DAY
Look at that face. That's the face of a man whose legacy is on the line.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"I'm Dutch. I'm stubborn. I think it's the stubborness, the consistency. You take the good with the bad. I came up at a young age. I retired at an old age. I was one of only three pitchers to win a game before their 20th [birthday] and after their 40th. It's just loving a game that you felt that you could compete at the highest level."
— Former Minnesota Twins pitcher Bert Blyleven, who will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame on Sunday, reflecting on his career
TWEET OF THE DAY
Whoa there. Somebody's a big Brett Favre fan.
VIDEO OF THE DAY
Nothing says "great way to waste time" like Fail Blog.
