Tom BradySomewhere, in an alternate universe where Bill Belichick oozes colorful quotes like a behoodied Rex Ryan, Tom Brady has been traded to the Houston Texans.

Under the header of “four explosive, albeit unlikely, hypothetical deals,” ESPN’s Hot Read blog proposes a deal that would send Brady to the Texans in exchange for wide receiver Andre Johnson and a 2015 first-round draft pick. The move would pave the way for the Jimmy Garoppolo era to begin for the New England Patriots while positioning the quarterback-thin Texans as AFC contenders.

“Before you scroll down to the comments section and leave the obligatory nasty note, consider that we asked a current NFL general manager if this incendiary, social media-exploding potential deal was possible,” Greg Garber wrote Wednesday. ” ‘Absolutely,’ he said. ‘It actually makes too much sense. The players in the Patriots’ locker room know that their days are numbered. That’s just the way it is in New England.’ ”

To support the proposed move, Garber points out the Patriots believe Garoppolo could be “that guy” to succeed Brady, and that Houston coach and former New England offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien is “a huge Brady fan” — as if there’s anyone who’s not.

The Patriots probably would prefer a younger piece such as DeAndre Hopkins, but if they truly were serious about trading Brady (which, so far, it doesn’t sound like they are), 33-year-old Johnson could be just the veteran wideout to shepherd Garoppolo through his formative years in the NFL.

Now, back to reality.

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