NESN Diary: Analyzing Patriots’ Uniform Tease (And Other Random Thoughts)

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Apr 17, 2020

Each day during the sports pause stemming from the coronavirus pandemic, NESN.com will publish a diary full of random thoughts, opinions, takeaways and other cool tidbits we’ve stumbled across in the absence of actual games. Because why not? We’re all in this together.

Anyone else terrified about what the New England Patriots might look like moving forward?

No, I’m not talking about the roster after an offseason littered with departures, the most significant being Tom Brady, the greatest quarterback in NFL history.

I’m talking about the new uniforms the Patriots plan to unveil.

We’ve known for several weeks that New England’s gameday wardrobe will change in 2020, and the team announced Friday it’ll reveal the new duds Monday (Patriots’ Day in Massachusetts).

We shouldn’t expect sweeping alterations, as ESPN’s Mike Reiss reported last month the changes “won’t be dramatic” and the current Flying Elvis logo will remain intact. It’s also not a terrible idea, slapping a bow on the Brady era — the most successful in franchise history — by going with a new look for this season and beyond.

But there’s something inherently nerve-racking about changing uniforms, especially when the current ensemble isn’t all that bad and we’ve already seen more than one organization get destroyed for a fashion faux pas this offseason.

As a Patriots fan, the only thing worse than New England stinking for the first time in two decades would be them stinking while also looking like ragamuffins.

“Hey, Brian Hoyer might be our starting quarterback. And oh, by the way, our jerseys are awful.”

I trust that won’t be the case. But it’s a scary thought, particularly at a time when we can very easily devote way too much brain space to overanalyzing things like helmet logos, number fonts and pant stripes.

Let’s get to some other quick thoughts for Friday, continuing with the Patriots uniform tease.

— The trailer the Patriots used to tease their new uniforms featured the following text: “Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue.”

Which means the Pats either will take the field in wedding dresses this season, or they’re going to incorporate several different concepts — past and present — into one modernized design.

This Twitter user’s prediction seems realistic:

All told, I hate the blue color rush uniforms (pictured below), so that’s doing little to calm my aforementioned angst on this subject.

New England Patriots running back James White

Winslow Townson/USA TODAY Sports Images

Wouldn’t mind seeing these as an occasional throwback, though:

More NFL: Early Point Spreads For Every Game On Patriots’ 2020 Schedule

— Friday marked the 21-year anniversary of the famous Ricky Williams trade, in which the New Orleans Saints dealt away their entire 1999 draft plus first- and third-round picks in 2000 to move up seven spots.

Not only was this such a head-scratching use of resources, exacerbated by Saints head coach Mike Ditka stating publicly months prior that he’d trade his entire draft for Williams, thus eliminating any leverage New Orleans might have in negotiations.

It’s also kinda pathetic from Washington’s standpoint, as the Redskins failed to finish above .500 in each of the next five seasons despite their draft haul. The ‘Skins have won only one playoff game since that deal, defeating the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the wild-card round during the 2005 season. Talk about a missed opportunity.

Another loser from the historic trade? The Cincinnati Bengals, who reportedly rejected an offer including nine picks from the Saints, only to turn around and draft quarterback Akili Smith at No. 3 overall.

— The 2020 NFL Draft could get weird.

Not “Tiger King” weird. But weird in that we might have significant wheeling and dealing, all while everyone is trying to figure out the whole virtual concept.

As someone who works on the Internet for a living, I’m in no way pulling for connectivity issues or anything like that. I am, however, hoping someone turns himself into a virtual potato during a conference call, like that lady who went viral.

The crazy thing is that going full potato mode wouldn’t even be the strangest moment in draft history, because Laremy Tunsil’s gas mask bong video set the bar so high — pun very much intended — back in 2016.

— Rocking this All-Star Game jersey with no sleeves at a summer BBQ would be the ultimate flex.

*Switches tabs, opens up eBay*

— Have a great weekend, everyone. And please be better than this.

Video of the Day
Same.

Stat of the Day
So, you’re saying he’s good?

Tweet of the Day
Like everything else nowadays…

More NFL: Raiders Have Zero Interest In Watching ‘Tuck Rule’ Game Vs. Patriots

Thumbnail photo via Twitter screengrab
New England Patriots quarterback Jarrett Stidham
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