"I'd like to thank the academy," Evans commented before accepting the championship trophy.
Before you Google "Who is Jeremy Evans," here's a couple fun facts. He's from Arkansas. He went to Western Kentucky. He was a second-round pick. He, uh, looks like he has braces.
As Sports Illustrated writer Mark Kram once said, "Title fights are like souffles; they disappoint more often than they fulfill." Sometimes that applies to dunk contests.
This dunk contest wasn't bad for one that was won by an unknown for the league's least-liked franchise. On the plus side, maybe this will inspire Blake Griffin and Dwight Howard to get back into the field next year.
I'd still put my money on Evans, though. He'll have plenty of time to hone his dunking skills while those guys have to waste time with post footwork, practicing their shooting mechanics, memorizing plays and all that other boring "basketball" stuff.
11 p.m.: Not getting the dunk in the first try really hurts the shock value. Paul George had a nice little homage to Larry Bird going, planning to slap a sticker of Larry Legend's face on the backboard before slamming a reverse, but it took four tries and the crowd got a little bored.
On that note, how short is the crowd's attention span that it loses interest after 30 seconds of a dude trying to dunk?
Jeremy Evans came through with another interesting skit. Kevin Hart dressed up as a mailman and "delivered" a Karl Malone jersey. No sooner did the fans give out a collective groan (Malone's not popular in Orlando, I take it), than Evans leapt over Hart, even putting his left hand on the back of his head a la the Mailman himself.
Evans seems to have had plenty of time to work on his dunks while he was busy not playing in real games.
10:55 p.m.: If you believe Chase Budinger really couldn't see, you'll find Kevin Hart's next bit — or any bit by Kevin Hart, for that matter — hilarious.
I don't find Kevin Hart hilarious one bit.
10:52 p.m.: Wow. No human being has changed his appearance in 20 years as much as Cedric Ceballos. Nobody. Not even Michael Jackson.
10:49 p.m.: Paul George may have made a nice, reverse 360 dunk. We couldn't really tell because the lights were off.
By the way, it's good to know where all that glow-in-the-dark tape we used to decorate our Huffy bikes when we were kids ended up.
Don't let the ease with which Derrick Williams caught a pass from Ricky Rubio off the side of the backboard fool you. That's hard to do. Really, go give it a shot in the driveway now. We'll wait.
10:45 p.m.: We have a new leader in the clubhouse, and it is Jeremy Evans. Who?
Evans, who has played 89 minutes this entire season, caught two balls tossed underhand from a seated Gordon Hayward. Evans might not be able to play organized basketball very well, but he sure can get up. Hanging out in that thin air in the Wasatch Mountains probably helps.
10:38 p.m.: The first round of dunks ended with a bang as Paul George cleared 7-foot-2 Roy Hibbert and 6-6 Dahntay Jones and Derrick Williams windmilled over a motorcyle.
A Kia was apparently not available.
Points must be subtracted for each dunker needing three attempts to make good on the dunk. Also, points must be subtracted for George using his left hand to vault over Hibbert. Come on, anybody can dunk over a 7-footer if they use their hand to give them a boost.
10:30 p.m.: Chase Budinger came out doing a Billy Hoyle impersonation, and jumped over Diddy to prove white men really can jump.
This year's contest allegedly will operate under a different format. Instead of judges, you, America, will vote for the winner. This means your vote is technically equal to any by Julius Erving or David Thompson, provided those guys can text.
Not to insult your dunk-judging abilities, but you don't deserve an equal say to Dr. J. Just saying.
Rather than grading these dunks on a scale of 1 to 10, we're going to use our own ratings system. Who ever made 10 the standard?
10:15 p.m.: Flo Rida is performing, because, you know, this shindig is taking place in Flo-rida. Get it?
Early prediction for the winner of the actual contest here is Paul George. He's by far the best player in the event and might be the Pacers' best player already.
Jeremy Evans is intriguing as a 6-foot-9, 190-pound (seriously!) twig with massive hops, but part of me just can't reconcile a slam dunk champ who might be out of the league next season.
10:10 p.m.: Kevin Love outlasted Kevin Durant in a finals tiebreaker. In the trophy presentation, Love said he simply visulized the hoop as Luis Scola's face and the ball as his foot driving through it.
All right, that's a total lie. Love really did win, though, and the crowd was asked to put their thumbs up or thumbs down for Durant. They overwhelmingly voted thumbs-down, so now Durant will be fed to lions.
Or at least that would have made the ending a bit more interesting.
After more than two hours of waiting, the moment we've been waiting for has almost arrived. After Cheryl Miller jabbers on about some stuff, it'll be time to dunk things.
9:21 p.m.: Surprisingly, it was the bounce pass, not the jump shot, that gave Rajon Rondo trouble in the skills competition.
As one of the three finalists along with Tony Parker and Deron Williams, Rondo needed four attempts to flick a bounce pass through the barrel. It might have helped if he'd pictured Jermaine O'Neal standing behind the target to fumble the pass out of bounds.
Oooh, low blow.
Anyway, Parker won, which gives him another trophy to add to his two NBA championships. This surely ranks right up there with them. Below them, but with them.
8:52 p.m.: Well, apparently retired NBA guys just drill halfcourt shots like it's no big deal.
Kenny Smith and Allan Houston both swished two halfcourt shots apiece, but Houston and Team New York were just a bit quicker with it than Smith and Team Texas.
This event is usually (always?) a big waste of everyone's time, but watching a couple of 70-year-olds step in and schwap! 45-footers was kind of cool.
8:25 p.m.: You're viewing decisions for the night just got more difficult. It appears Super Troopers is playing on Comedy Central. Feel fee to flip over and I'll keep you updated on any important goings-on from Orlando.
Go ahead, move along meow.
8:06 p.m.: TNT analyst Kenny Smith, who will be taking part in the shooting stars competition for Team Texas, says Pacers forward Paul George is the "easiest" dunker in the four-man field and should be the favorite.
So, congrats, George, on being Kenny's pick.
The dunk contest will be preceded by the shooting stars contest, the skills competition and the 3-point shootout, so whenever those meaningless exhibitions finish up, we'll bring you the life-or-death battle that is the dunk contest. Stick around.
9:15 a.m. ET: Getting noticed can be difficult in Minneapolis, Indianapolis, Houstons or Salt Lake City.
Four young players aim to get a bit of publicity Saturday when they face off in the NBA Slam Dunk contest. One relatively unknown player will be crowned as the slam dunk champion, joining such names as Blake Griffin, Vince Carter and Michael Jordan.
They'll also join such names as Fred Jones, Brent Barry and Gerald Green, for what that's worth.
Join us for commentary — strictly for entertainment purposes — during the event, which is schedule to begin between 8-9 p.m. ET.
