Imagine you’re some guy, or some woman, and you treat your significant other to front row seats to watch your favorite NFL team on Monday night.
You pick up your sweetie pie after work and start heading for the stadium. This is a special night, of course, so you stop at some overpriced steakhouse along the way and enjoy dinner and wine — things are going well. After you arrive at the stadium, you make your way to the team store and buy a couple jerseys, or sweatshirts, or whatever. You then walk through the turnstiles and see the packed stadium already buzzing with energy — so far, this $1,000 investment is worth it.
Fast-forward to kickoff and you’re in your awesome seats, ready to pull out your phone and post an awe-shucks, look-where-we-are Instagram. Because if you don’t get 75 likes, were you even really there?
Again, things are going swimmingly.
But then your team quickly marches down the field and sets up shop in the red zone. And all of a sudden, during a stoppage in play, something named Booger McFarland comes rolling down the sideline atop some motorized crane-throne and impedes your view of the field. Like, you literally can’t see your team run any plays.
What on Earth is the meaning of this? Well, as it turns out, there’s a perfectly good explanation.
You see, McFarland is there to provide dynamic, innovative coverage for ESPN’s “Monday Night Football” broadcast. Paying customers be damned, McFarland is going to sit on his perch and offer one hellacious take after another. But don’t worry! ESPN did you a solid and slapped a giant flat-screen TV behind its Booger so, you know, you can watch the game and all.
OK, this night kinda sucks now.
(You can click here to watch McFarland’s contraption blocking fans at Lambeau Field.)
(And you can click here to watch fans lose it on McFarland during Monday night’s New York Giants-Atlanta Falcons game.)
Even without the TV, McFarland’s verkakte booth already was a disgrace. The addition of the flat-screen, however, makes this whole thing flat-out disrespectful.
Consider this: What if someone took your food at the dinner table but gave you “permission” to watch the Food Channel instead? Worse yet, what if you paid for the food?
Let’s pick things up in the fourth quarter.
The game is tied 28-28 and your team just marched down the field to set up a potential game-winning field goal. The ball sails through the uprights and everyone goes nuts — and you’re well aware, because you watched it on TV from the confines of your one-night, $1,000 living room.
Thanks for the memories, Booger.