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Tom Brady’s Ponytail Not Bad Enough, As Quarterback Tortures Patriots Fans With Horrible Dance in Streets of Brazil

If we could all write a letter to Tom Brady, it might look like this:

Dear TB12,

What. The. Hell?

Sincerely,
Everyone

The Patriots’ quarterback unveiled his ponytail this week, looking much more like a futbol star than a football star. As if that wasn’t enough for Patriots fans to stomach, his brutal dance moves were exposed in a YouTube clip.

Look, we all knew that Brady wasn’t the smoothest guy around. We all knew that he can’t really run and that he’s not the most athletic guy in the world — but we had no idea that he danced like a 59-year-old woman at a company holiday party.

Come on, Tom. You don’t need to be the guy who wins the parking spot for spending the most time in the Patriots’ weight room anymore, but you can’t be the guy in a soccer jersey sporting a ponytail busting out Elaine Benes moves on the streets of Rio de Janeiro. It’s just … not … right.

Photo of the day

Are these the worst dance moves you’ve ever seen? Could Peyton Manning move better than Tom Brady? Do you want to just pretend this never happened? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Quote of the day

“This is a classic example of sensationalism, looking for a headline.”
–Heat coach Erik Spoelstra, backtracking significantly since igniting a media firestorm by saying his players cried after losing a game on Sunday

Comment of the day

When someone won’t turn off the caps lock key, sometimes the only way to stop it is to fight fire with fire.

“STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
–duh

Tweet of the day

This fan’s theory works in principle, but imagine if Brady is given another 12 months to do nothing but grow his hair out.

Twitter / Christopher Doorley: This has me chanting “lock … via kwout

Video of the day

Without further ado, here is Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. showing off his dancing “skills.”