Most of us skimmed over the headline that thrust the educated world into a frenzy Friday. Scientists in Europe discovered particles called "neutrinos" that may move faster than light, which was previously thought to be the fastest thing in the universe.
This reportedly throws humanity's entire understanding of the universe into chaos and probably does a whole lot of other things most of us wouldn't understand.
The discovery took a hoard of scientists working overtime at a massive laboratory straddling the Swiss-French border, but sports fans have known for some time that quite a few objects move faster than 186,000 miles per second.
For example:
Dave Roberts — For one moment in his 10-year major league career, Roberts broke the laws of physics. His stolen base in Game 4 of the American League Championship Series changed the complexion of the game and the series. It was also one of the few times a person seemed to be moving faster than light and slower than a glacier at the same time.
New York Mets — No team has fallen faster in the closing weeks of the season than the Mets, who blew a seven-game lead with 17 games remaining in the 2007 season. The Mets led the NL east from mid-May to the final Friday of the regular season, and an 8-1 loss to the Marlins in game No. 162 sealed their fate. Take that, neutrinos.
Usain Bolt — The only way to keep Bolt from winning a race is to disquality him; his false start at the world championships in August knocked him out of contention. (This is especially relevent to the neutrinos, which scientists think may have simply gotten an illegal head start — or benefited from another type of measurement error — and therefore might not be faster than light after all.)
NHL offseason — Honestly, has any offseason ever seemed to go by faster than this one? It seems like just last week the Bruins hoisted the Stanley Cup, and the preseason is already under way. This gives new meaning to the saying "Short but sweet."
PHOTO OF THE DAY
This is where the magic happens.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"All he wanted to do was get better. He didn't talk much. He didn't say much of anything. His actions spoke so loudly they drown out his words. All he wanted to do was be a football player and he worked so hard."
— Fresno State football coach Pat Hill on Orlando Brown, the former NFL offensive lineman who died this week at age 40
TWEET OF THE DAY
It's funny because he's big-boned. Get it?
VIDEO OF THE DAY
This fictional AX spray is only slightly more disgusting than the actual Axe spray.
