Blowouts, Trash Talk Mar Week 7 of NESN Fantasy Season

Blowouts, Trash Talk Mar Week 7 of NESN Fantasy Season The New England Patriots traveled all the way to London to lay their 35-7 whoopin' on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Several of the teams in the NESN.com Fantasy Football League laid whoopins of their own from the comfort of their own living rooms.

And while Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the Pats were in the land of the prim and proper, tea and crumpets and fish and chips, several NESN fantasy players threw their good manners out the window, where they landed in the form of their comments, forever ingrained on the league's message boards.

It's evidence you seek? Ask and ye shall receive.

Kathryn's "Tappenators" scored their third straight victory, narrowly holding off Heidi Watney and "Favre Forever" 122.35-115.60 to improve to 5-2 and hold on to first place in the Western Division.

Big days from rising Cowboys star receiver Miles Austin and 49ers tight end Vernon Davis did the trick for Kathryn, and though DeSean Jackson made a late run at a comeback for Heidi, the Tappenators held on for the win.

"Heidi said before the game that the Tappenators were going down," Tappen said during her postgame news conference. "Not so fast, my friend. Looks like it's time for another Edible Arrangement. Do you like your fresh fruit plain or dipped in chocolate, Heidi?"

Obviously saddened by the apparent loss of Jets running back Leon Washington due to his broken leg, Tappen reacted like any caring coach would.

"We gladly sacrificed Leon Washington's fibula for another big win."

Oh. Never mind.

"Remember how I said you were going down?" Heidi muttered under her breath following her team's fifth loss in seven games. "Yeah, ummm … maybe not."

Laying down some serious numerical smack was Terrence Johnson and his "Crooked Lettas," who crushed Naoko Funayama's "UNITAS" squad 134.50-87.40 to move into sole possession of first place in the Eastern Conference.

That was made possible by the similar annihilation of my "Gray Cutoff Hoodies" by John Carchedi's "Italian Ninjas," who moved into a tie for second in the East with their commanding 158.20-123.80 triumph.

Between the big-time performances of Tom Brady, Chad Ochocinco, Vincent Jackson, DeAngelo Williams and many, many more, Carchedi got out to an early lead and never looked back.

"I think it is imperative in fantasy football, as in all endeavors of men, to stay grounded amid the good and the bad — to take both Lady Success and Madame Failure in stride," Carchedi said, "because one can very easily and very quickly morph into the other.

"That being said, MY TEAM IS THE @#$%!!!!"

Your humble NESN.com associate editor struck a different chord following the game.

"We just got our butt kicked. We couldn't do diddly-poo offensively. We couldn't make a first down. We couldn't run the ball. We couldn't complete a pass. We sucked. The second half, we sucked."

The interview got even more combative when several reporters asked about the team's chances of making the playoffs.

"Playoffs? You talk about … playoffs?! Are you kidding me? Playoffs?! I just hope we can win a game."

Filling his trash-talking quotient as usual was Cole Wright's team "I MEAN BUSINESS," which rang John Chandler's "More Cowbell" to the tune of a 110.35-81.30 win.

Despite playing without a kicker and a starting defense, Cole secured second place in the West thanks to the 29.65 points posted by Colts superstar Peyton Manning. But Cole wanted to keep the plaudits to himself.

"Can I kick it? … Yes, you can. … Can I kick it? … Yes, you can."

Huh?

"Ya'll musta not heard of A Tribe Called Quest! I MEAN BUSINESS!"

Oh. Now I get it.

One other question: Can I read more about my favorite NESN fantasy football stars next week right here on NESN.com?

Yes, you can.

TMZ logo

© 2018 NESN

Partner of USATODAY Sports Digital Properties