Dear Diary,
Fantasy Football. It?s simple, really.
I?ll dedicate the next month to depth charts and draft boards, sleepers and keepers. I?ll come home from work, kiss the wife, browse the web a bit and just have fun. I think I?m going to fall back in love with this little hobby and completely forget about last year?s ? complications.
Side note: I?m happy Brett Favre is staying retired. He should relax and get himself a hobby. It?s the little things in life, you know?
Aug. 18
Dear Diary,
I haven?t quite kept up with the research, but I just went out and purchased a few magazines from the store, and I?m ready to get to work. I also picked up a 9×9 white poster board, and tacked it to the living room wall. I?ll start building my own little draft war room. This is great.
Aug. 26
Hi Diary,
Fourteen of the 27 magazines I bought last week were actually 2008 versions. Man, did I just have a good laugh about it. I?d give the clerk at the store a piece of my mind, but hey, I?m sure it?s not his fault.
Side note: The wife is starting to question if ?war room? is the best use of this space.
Aug. 29
Diary,
Night before draft. A little on edge. Laptop is working and fully charged. Lucky pens, check. Gray hoodie, check. Funny lines memorized for whoever drafts Favre, check. Rabbit?s foot, check — but I don?t need it. I?m so money.
Aug. 30, Draft Day!
Diary,
6 p.m.
Just wished everyone luck. I think this must be how Bill Belichick feels before his drafts. I almost feel sorry for these guys. They have no idea the whooping I?m about to bring to their worlds. Sitting next to Ted again this year. Great guy. Hope he does well, too.
6:25 p.m.
@#$% Ted just stole my guy. I don?t freaking believe it.
7:04 p.m.
May have reached a little with seventh-round pick. Still, Rob Bironas is a hell of a kicker.
7:30 p.m.
Excused myself and secretly let air out of Ted?s tires. Not proud of it, but this dirtbag must have looked at my war room. Never should have let the wife move it to backyard shed. Panicked and drafted Favre. Enduring idiots making stupid comments.
Sept. 13
Hey,
Season opener.
Great start. Favre threw four touchdowns. The six interceptions were to be expected. May not win this week, but I like my team. Completely forgot about dinner with the in-laws, but can you blame me? Football?s back!
October something
Diary,
I can?t believe the nerve of the wife, a woman who wants me to mow the lawn now. So what if it?s been three months and the mailman refuses to walk through it. I have to sit in this seat with my legs crossed until Bironas kicks seven more field goals for the win.
November-ish
Whatever,
Favre was a bad pick. So was Plaxico Burress.
Sometime before Christmas
Dear stupid waste of time and trees,
I hate Brett Favre with a passion hotter than the sun. The entire state of Mississippi is dead to me. As is the convenience store clerk whom I hold completely responsible for my 0-12 record (though he has agreed to drop the charges for our disagreement last week).
Jan. 12
Dearest Diary,
Happy New Year! I?ve come to like it here at Whispering Hills. Very peaceful. I?m going to learn how to crochet. I bet it will be fun and easy. It?s the little things in life, you know?
